How to Beat Holiday Stress

Everyone knows the holidays should be a time of joy and togetherness, of peace and love, but it's hard to love the holidays when it just feels like one big to-do list. Here are six tips to make the holidays a happier, less stressful time:

1. Get organized. Think about the things you really need and want to do. Prioritize, make lists, and make a schedule. What gets done gets done, but if you’re organized and have prioritized everything, then you are much more likely to get the really important things done.

2. Simplify and streamline. Adjust your expectations and try to focus on the things that are really important and jettison the rest. Think quality over quantity. Maybe get the same gift for everyone or cut the list back a bit. Do you really need to do everything you think you do? Try to do with less.

3. Delegate. You don’t have to do everything. Get your spouse or family members to share the workload, and then make peace with the results.

4. Take time to look around. Literally. Stop what you are doing and look at the decorations and the pretty lights. Listen to holiday music. Window shop. Go to church or temple. Do something holiday-ish, like take the kids for a drive around town to see the lights. Take the time to enjoy the beauty of the season.

5. Keep it simple at work, and remember the rules: don’t buy your boss a gift (unless you pull her name in the Secret Santa), keep the holiday displays at home, don’t get drunk at the office party, etc. Speaking of the office party, remember that even though it is a social event, it is still work, so be on your best behavior. It’s a great opportunity to socialize, network, and develop relationships.

6. Be good to yourself. Remember to take care of yourself this time of year. In addition to the stresses of the season, colds and flu are likely going around too, so be sure to take good care of yourself. And maybe even get yourself a little something. You deserve it!

Good luck, and happy holidays!

~~~

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Advice for Teleworking: Nine Tips for Workers and Managers

Teleworking, or working from home or a remote location, is growing by leaps and bounds. It’s the new normal. Between 2005 and 2009, teleworking grew by 61 percent. Ten percent of the US workforce telecommutes at least one day a week. By 2016, telecommuters will total over 5 million workers, a 69 percent increase over current levels.

Why is teleworking so popular? Several reasons. For business owners, teleworking can really save you money, since office space tends to be one of the biggest costs associated with a labor force. But workers love it, too. It offers flexibility and independence. In a recent poll, the ability to telework was the number two criteria for those polled and 33 percent said they would prefer the ability to telework over a 10 percent salary increase (all statistics, http://bit.ly/1rjGmKT).

Teleworking also has another great benefit for workers and managers—productivity. Studies show that teleworking actually improves a person’s productivity when the task is creative or thoughtful. The productivity in repetitive jobs, like data entry, proved to be about the same.

If you are a teleworker, either by choice or design, here are some dos and donts:

1. Create the right space. Sitting on the couch is probably not the best place to work. Make sure you have a dedicated workspace with the right tools for the job. You’ll need a good Internet connection, maybe a landline phone, a place for your files and supplies, a place for your computer. Most important, you want a workspace where you will not be distracted. So if you can carve out a home office where you can close the door and not be distracted by laundry that’s ideal.

2. Get childcare. Working from home is not a substitute for childcare. You need to make sure you can work rather than care for the children.

3. Make and keep a routine. Teleworking is not an excuse to sleep in late. Keep the same office hours as your colleagues.

4. Be available. Again, you have to keep the same hours as your colleagues so stay plugged in and available.

5. Respect your personality. Teleworking may not be a good fit for extroverts, who tend to do best in a social setting. So if you are an extrovert don’t stay home by yourself for days on end. Break up your day and try to punctuate it with visits to the office or social engagements. Find a local library or other open space with good wifi. Break up your solitude.

If you are a manager and have teleworkers, here is some advice for you:

1. Make your company's policy and expectations clear. Make sure your employees know your policy and be very clear on expectations about due dates, work loads, hours, availability, etc.

2. Give employees the right support. Think it through: what type of work is conducive to teleworking? What will your employees need support-wise to be successful? Give them the proper work, the proper guidance, and the proper support.

3. Manage by results. You’ve got to learn to manage by result, by the quality of the work, and this is very different than managing someone in person, by butt in the seat. Think it through: what is it you need to see results-wise?

4. Know your people, know their strengths and weaknesses. Who will be successful teleworking and what do you need to give them to be successful? Again, this is a very different type of management.

Teleworking is here to stay and growing fast. It really is the new normal. Make it work people!

~~~

If you’d like to watch my segment on teleworking on ABC 7’s Washington Business Report with Rebecca Cooper, just click this link: http://bit.ly/1rjGmKT.

 For more information on Careerstone, please visit my web site: Careerstone Group.

How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers and Bosses

Difficult bosses and coworkers can make your work life miserable. I recently did a segment on News Channel 8’s News Talk with Bruce DePuyt on how to deal with them. (You can watch the segment here.)

A difficult person is someone whose behavior negatively impacts the way you do your job. Difficult coworkers and bad bosses come in all shapes and sizes, including the bully, the slacker (they do nothing), the shouter, the fraud (they pretend to be busy when they really do nothing), the hypercompetitor, the blowhard, etc.

The key to dealing with difficult people is to recognize that you cannot change how someone else behaves. The only thing you can do is manage your own behavior and learn to interact and work with them on your own terms. You want to be proactive and not reactive.

But you have to remember that what’s difficult for you may not be difficult for someone else, so you have to understand how the difficult behavior impacts you. You have to understand your own triggers and how the behavior impacts you so you can find ways to manage it.

When you have a difficult person you only have three choices: Confront, cope, or quit.

1. You can confront the behavior. You want to confront the behavior and not the person. Be very clear to separate the person from the behavior, and be very clear about what you want. Confronting requires a difficult conversation in which you discuss the behavior and not the intention behind it. You want to discuss how the behavior has impacted you and/or your team and request something different. Here’s a sample for someone who takes credit for a team project:

"Sally, I understand that it is important for you to be recognized for your work, and it's important for us too. When you take solo credit for the team’s efforts it impacts us negatively. It’s demoralizing and we feel we are not being recognized properly. We’d prefer if you mentioned us too when you talk about our team’s successes."

Also, remember that there is strength in numbers. If other people feel the same way you do then bring them with you. Just don’t gang up on someone or back them into a corner. Be polite.

2. You can learn to cope with the person and the behavior. This is the "just deal with it" choice. Don’t take the behavior personally. Try to deflect it, ignore it, and find ways to operate around that it: Coping mechanisms include:

• Avoiding the person as much as possible.
• Keeping conversations and interactions short.
• Sticking to a certain time limit or mandating limits on meetings or projects.
• Working remotely or electronically.
• Asking to be placed on someone else's team.

3. You can quit and walk away. Unless you have to, simply stop engaging with the person. Don’t interact with them at all. Just walk away. Quit the job if you have to.

Now, when the difficult person is your boss it’s considerably harder. You can always quit your job, but that’s not a good option for most people. Sadly, your options are limited.

Remember that it’s not about you, it’s about them, so find ways to work around or with them. If your boss is a bully, find ways to confront that. Self-promote like crazy. Be vocal about your accomplishments and what you can do.

Bosses and managers are the number one reason people stay or leave a job, and the number two reason is office climate. The way people behave and interact with each other on the job is critical. Just remember that you can’t change the way difficult people behave. You can only change how you deal with them. Good luck.

For more on dealing with difficult people, please see:

The Boss from Hell: How to Deal with Bad Bosses

Coworkers from Hell: How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

The Dangers of Workplace Gossip

Work is a social environment. It’s very important to maintain good relationships with your coworkers, to be friendly, and to engage them in conversation. But work can also be a hotbed of drama. Conversations can easily turn to gossip, and that is a dangerous place to go.

How do you know the difference between harmless conversation and gossip? Simple: Consider the impact of what is being said.

• Does it cast negative aspersions?
• Does it create rifts?
• Does it exult in the misfortune of others?
• Does it have a negative emotional charge?
• Does it serve to perpetuate conflict or negativity?
• Is it hurtful or damaging?
• Would you say it in front of the person you’re talking about?

Technically, any sharing of trivial or unsubstantiated information can be considered gossip. But you have to consider the sentiment. For example, if it were rumored that a coworker is being promoted, and you discuss it with another coworker, is that gossip?

Well, if the discussion is hurtful, damaging, or negative, then yes, it's gossip. If the story is told with negativity and without good will, then it's gossip. Light conversation is value neutral, while gossip is negative, inflammatory, and/or embarrassing to the person being spoken of.

How gossip hurts

Gossip can increase conflict and decrease morale. It results in strained relationships. It breaks down the trust level within groups. Gossip is the death of teamwork, as the group breaks up into small cliques, and employees start refusing to work with others.

Offices are rife with gossip, but that doesn't make it ok.

Gossip results in the supervisor spending an enormous amount of time trying to figure out who said what to whom. Or, worse, the supervisor struggles to explain to the manager that the on-going conflicts and communication problems within the workgroup are the reason work doesn't get done. Productivity is lost, as are good employees who do not want to work in toxic environments.

Breaking the gossip cycle

Here’s how to get out of the gossip pipeline:

1. Be busy. Gossipmongers want attention. If you're preoccupied with your work, you can't be available to listen to their latest story.

2. Don’t participate. Walk away from the story. Don’t give visual clues that you are interested in listening. If someone passes a juicy story on to you, don't pass it any further. Take personal responsibility to act with integrity.

3. Turn it around by saying something positive. It isn't nearly as much fun to spread negative news if it's spoiled by a complimentary phrase about the person being attacked.

4. Avoid the gossiper. If you notice one person who consistently makes trouble, take the necessary actions to have as little interaction with that person as possible. Avoid him.

5. Keep your private life private. Don't share personal information with coworkers. Remember, it's a two-way street: if they are gossiping about others, they will gossip about you, too. Don't give them ammunition.

Don't give office gossips any attention or ammunition.

6. Choose your friends wisely at work. You spend a good deal of time at work so it's natural for friendships to develop. Share information sparingly until you are sure that you have built up a level of trust.

7. Be direct. If you confront the gossiper and confidently tell him or her that such behavior is making it uncomfortable for you and other coworkers, it's likely to stop.

8. Don't be afraid to go to a superior. Gossiping wastes a lot of company time and hurts morale. A company interested in a healthy work environment will value the opportunity to correct this type of situation.

If you are the target of gossip, learn to let it go.

Now, if you are the target of gossip you have two choices. You can confront the source or make a public statement. Thankfully, gossip has a very short life span. Sometimes, the best thing to do is let it run its (hopefully) short course. Creating a stink sometimes causes more drama than just letting it go.

Put simply: Don’t be a gossip and don’t listen to gossip. Work smart. Keep your focus on the positive and don’t engage.

~

For more information on Careerstone visit our website: Careerstone Group

To watch my television appearances, please visit: Careerstone Media-TV

About To Be Fired? Here's What To Do

Oftentimes, when people get fired or laid off, they saw it coming. They may have heard rumors or rumblings, felt a change in the atmosphere, or simply read the writing on the wall. And, in hindsight, they always wish they’d better prepared themselves.

So, if you see or sense a layoff or termination coming, take action and prepare yourself. Here are five things to do the minute you feel it coming:

1. Get your resume together. You will need it right away to get back on the market.

2. Make a list of your key accomplishments at the organization. You never know--if you can wow them with everything you've accomplished and show them how important you have been to the bottom line, you may be able to sell yourself back to the company or convince them not to let you go. In any event, it’ll help get you focused on your work and what you can offer.

3. Make a list of everything in your pay and benefits package. Think through your insurance, vacation time, etc. so you are ready to ask about it. The person doing the firing or layoffs will probably be as nervous as you, so being prepared is key.

4. Be nice. I know it may be hard to even consider being pleasant to the people who may be firing you, but you want to preserve the relationship as much as possible. They may hire you back. They may recommend you for another job or steer you in the direction of another company. Don’t burn bridges.

5. Keep it to yourself. You could be dead wrong, and you don’t want to rile people up or anger management. Just keep calm, carry on, and prepare for the worst.

And if you did get fired? Read this:

http://careerstonegroup.blogspot.com/2014/09/got-fired-heres-what-to-do.html

Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, visit www.careerstonegroup.com

For more from Mary Abbajay, visit www.careerstonegroup/media

Interview Tips: 10 Tips to Help You Hire the Right Person

Studies show that 40 percent of all hires fail. Indeed, hiring the wrong person is a huge waste of both time and money. Here are 10 tips to help you interview and hire the right person:

1. Do your homework. Think the position through thoroughly. Make a list of the skills, talents, and abilities you want for this job. We call this a competency matrix, but it’s really just a list of all the things you want. Prioritize the list, and craft questions based on what you want and need the most. And read their resumes thoroughly, check references, and do a Google search on the candidate.

2. Establish a rapport. Strike a friendly tone and use open body language. Make the interview a conversation not an interrogation. Explain the job, explain your hiring process, and be sure to thank the candidate.

3. Mind your biases. People tend to like people like themselves, so be careful you’re not just hiring yourself. Studies show that most interviewers make up their minds about a candidate in the first two minutes of the interview, so try to be open to people who are different than you.

4. Be consistent. Make sure you ask each candidate the same questions. At the end, you want to compare apples to apples, and you can’t do that if you haven’t been consistent.

5. Use behavioral-based interview questions. Past performance is indicative of future performance, so ask about real experience instead of hypotheticals. For example: “Mary, tell me about a time when you handled an irate customer” or “Steve, “tell me about a time when you lead a team.”

6. Take notes. This seems obvious but few people do it. Be sure to take notes during the interview so you can remember things later. And if you’ve made your list of competencies you can check them off or apply a rating scale.

7. Listen well and ask follow up questions. Remember, make the interview a conversation, not an interrogation.

8. Don’t forget to sell. Chances are, the candidate has other options, so the interview is an opportunity for you to sell them on the position. The candidate is also interviewing you and your company.

9. Ask the reception staff about the candidate. How did they treat your reception staff when they came in? How did they behave? This is important!

10. Follow up with the candidate as soon as possible. You are a brand, so make sure your interview process is positive. Don’t leave them hanging; it reflects poorly on your company.

Good luck!

~~~

For more information about Careerstone Group, visit careerstonegroup.com.

For more workplace tips, visit careerstonegroup.blogspot.com.

Got Fired? Here's What To Do

You may have seen it coming, but it still feels like a kick in the stomach: You’re fired or laid off. Now what? Here are eight tips to help you through it:

1. Keep it together. Stay calm. Do not panic. You won’t be able to listen, absorb important information, or move forward if you panic. And no one will help you if you act out.

2. Get your papers together and prepare yourself. You will need documents and info for your meeting with HR and for moving on, including:

• Your resume
• A list of your accomplishments
• A complete list of everything in your pay and benefits package
• A list of any awards or certificates you’ve earned
• Contact info for all of your clients and colleagues

3. Be polite and professional. You want to preserve the relationship you have with your organization, manager, and HR, and if you remain calm and professional you’ll get more help. Don’t rant and rave and leave on a bad note. Don’t burn bridges.

4. Make a list of questions to ask, including:

• Why was I terminated or laid off?
• If it was for performance, what specifically?
• Will you give me a letter of reference or recommendation?
• How will we phrase my termination? Will I be able to say it simply wasn’t a good fit, or that my department was downsized? What will you tell prospective employers?
• If it’s a lay off, is there a prospective rehire date?
• What are you offering in my severance package?
• What about unused holiday, vacation, sick, or comp time?
• What about my 401K or retirement package?
• Can I keep my health insurance?
• Can I take my contacts or client files?
• Do you offer job training or placement services?

5. If they offer a non-compete, wait to sign it until you’ve had a chance to look it over, possibly with an employment attorney. I also would not sign it unless it was tied to a severance package. Ask for a few days to review the document and any package with it.

6. Start networking immediately. This is where being polite and professional helps a lot. Remember, everyone at your workplace is a potential contact or referral for you. People will remember how you handle this situation, and you want them to remember that you handled it with grace and dignity. Leave them impressed.

7. Wallow. You’re going to be upset, very upset. So go ahead and take three days to wallow in your misery. Lay on the couch. Eat ice cream. Watch all four seasons of Game of Thrones. But three days, that’s it. After that, get up and get started.

8.Then get back to work. Your new job is to get a new job. Get up everyday as if you are going to work: shower and dress, and sit at your desk to plan and execute your strategy. Don’t turn on the TV on play on the computer. Start looking immediately for a new job:

• If your old firm offers career placement or counseling services, set up an appointment right away.
• Build your network. Make a list of contacts. Contact friends, former colleagues, and coworkers. Make sure you get your story straight, and that they hear it from you. This doesn’t mean you should lie, but get your spin together. Don’t gossip or badmouth your boss or company.
• Redo your resume.
• Build your career. Take classes, develop new skills, make the changes you’ve been meaning to make. Learn something new. 
• Consider professional temp work. It’s always been a great way to land a job, and, as everyone knows, it’s easier to find a job when you are employed than unemployed.
• Stay positive and focused. The worst thing you can do is spiral downward into catastrophic thinking and feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve got to think positive and act professionally. 

When you get fired or laid off, the most important things to remember are to leave with professionalism and grace, keep a good relationship with your former employer and coworkers, and keep a positive attitude. Wallowing in self-pity will not land you your next job. But keeping your spirits up, your network alive, and your mind open almost certainly helps. Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, please visit my website.

Five Tips to Stay Competitive in a Young Market

I hate the term “seasoned worker.” It makes me feel old rather than experienced. But that’s what we call people 50 and older who have 20+ years’ experience in the working world. Seasoned workers don’t get as much respect as they used to, despite the fact that they comprise between 25-35 percent of our workforce.

Seasoned workers are beginning to feel the pinch of ageism as many businesses and companies look to a younger workforce, fearing that older workers cost too much, have outdated skills, and are less productive than younger workers.

You're not old, you're seasoned!

The first thing to bear in mind is that this simply isn’t true. Research shows that older workers have a stronger work ethic, are more dependable and punctual, and are more organized than many of their younger colleagues. People over 50 bring more experience in dealing with workplace problems, handling difficult issues, and working with a variety of personality types.

Furthermore, certain industries actually place a higher value on seasoned workers, including education, health, nonprofits, and government agencies. These fields, while dedicated to equal opportunity for people of all ages, place a value on the life, work experience, and dedication that Boomers and seasoned employees bring to the job.

Nevertheless, the truth is that many hiring managers tend to favor younger workers over older workers, assuming they have better skill sets. But seasoned workers can be just as competitive and attractive as their younger counterparts.

Here are five tips to stay competitive in the marketplace:

1. Make sure your skill set is contemporary. This is obvious but it needs to be said. If you want to be competitive in the marketplace, you must have the current technological skills and knowledge of the younger people entering the workforce. You have to keep up. Brush up on the latest programs, operating systems, applications, programs, social media sites, gadgets, etc. This is critical.

2. Make sure your look is contemporary. You don’t want to look like a young hipster, but you do want to be stylish, contemporary, and modern. You want to look like you belong in 2014, not 1984.

Dress for the times and your age.

3. Be positive and confident. Your attitude should be confident and positive. You have the experience to tackle any new challenge; act like it. You aren’t old, you aren’t “overqualified,” you are a seasoned asset. Sell yourself as such.

4. Live in the now. Don’t dwell on the past or talk about “how things used to be.” Younger workers are living in the now, and so should you. You need to be current not just on technology but on cultural and social issues, too. Be modern.

Be flexible and adapt to the modern office.

5. Be flexible and adaptable. Many workplaces these days are open, decentralized, virtual, and highly collaborative. People may be more informal than you are used to. Being flexible and open to new ways of working is key.

Being seasoned is an incredible asset. Use it to your advantage. Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, visit my website.

Watch my TV appearances! Visit my Media Page.

New Job Blues: How To Tell If It's You or the Job, and What To Do About It

Many people head into new jobs only to find that they aren’t too thrilled with the reality of it. Whether you’ve just entered the work force for the first time or you’ve switched jobs, New Job Blues can strike. The blues usually pop up two to three months after starting working. Symptoms include:

• Feelings of dissatisfaction or frustration
• Feeling tired, having low energy, or feeling low-level depression
• Feeling unfulfilled
• Questioning your choices and your future.
• Wondering, “This is what I went to college for?” or “This is what I left my other job for?”

The good news is that new job blues are often temporary; you might just need time to adjust to your new workplace, schedule, field, or position. You can cure the blues with a little insight, a little attitude adjustment, and some tips and strategies.

First, I’m going to tell you what NOT to do:

• Do not disconnect from potential mentors or advisors; you might need help adjusting, acclimating, and feeling part of the team.
• Do not assume the problem is the job and not you, or vice versa; in fact, do not assume anything.
• Do not quit and run off to grad school or some other job.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help from inside or outside your organization.

Now, here is what you can do to beat the blues:

The first thing is to determine the cause. It’s entirely possible that it’s not the job or the field; you just might not be used to actually having to go to work every day or are still unfamiliar with your new workplace. So try to isolate factors. Ask:

• Is it the transition?
• Are you just tired and out of sorts from getting up early, commuting, working set hours, etc.?
• Are you feeling lonely because you haven't connected with anyone at work yet?
• Is it the job? The company?
• Were your expectations too high?
• Do you like what you do?
• Look up the company ladder and around the office. Do you like what you see? Do you like what the company does?
• Would you like to do what other people in your organization are doing?

Once you have asked and answered these questions, you should know if it’s normal transitional hiccups or if it’s something bigger, like the job itself, the company, or the field.

If it’s just transitional blues, understand that it’s perfectly normal, and that you are going to feel shockwaves for some time. It’s no small feat to become accustomed to a new routine, workplace, or job. And take a good look at your expectations and work ethic. You might have to toughen up a bit.

Is it the job or is it you?

If you are new to the working world and you determine that you like the industry or profession but don’t like the entry-level drudgery or dues paying of your job, you have to suck it up. You will not get ahead until you have worked in that field. You’ve got to lose the green and gain experience, and that usually means starting at the bottom.

Similarly, if you like the profession or industry but do not like the company, you also have to suck it up until you have enough experience and have paid enough dues so that you can add that entry-level job to your resume. The more experience you have, even just a few months to a year, the more marketable you will be. It doesn’t look good on a resume to quit after four weeks.

Conversely, if you determine that you like the company but not the job then start networking within that organization. If they liked you well enough to hire you, there is a good chance they will help you find a more appropriate home in the organization. So meet people. Explore other opportunities. Get informational interviews with people in other areas. Volunteer to work on other projects in areas you think would make you happier. Network, network, network.

Last, if you hate the job, the profession, and the company, and you aren’t just being a baby about having to get up at 6:45 a.m., then you have to do some soul searching to determine what it is you want you to do. There are tons of resources out there to help you:

• Take a career aptitude test. There are lots on the Internet. Here are two examples: http://www.oprah.com/money/Aptitude-Tests-Career-Assessment and http://www.assessment.com
• If you are a recent college graduate your school probably has career services. Use them. 
• Hire a career coach. They can help you determine and define your interests, skills, and talents, and will help you create a game plan for pursuing and accomplishing your goals. It can be money well spent if you are really spinning your wheels.
• Read some career-aptitude books like, What Color Is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles or Career Match: Connecting Who You Are with What You Love to Do by Shoya Zichy.

Once you figure out if it's just normal transitional issues or it's the job, company, or industry, you can work to cure your blues. Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, visit my website.

Want to watch my TV appearances? Visit my Media Page.

How to Deal with a Bad Boss

Your boss has an enormous influence over how you work and the quality of your work life. Sadly, bad bosses are a fact of working life. Forbes magazine recently reported that three out of four employees say that their boss is the worst and most stressful part of their job. And another 65 percent of employees surveyed said that they would take a new boss over a pay raise. Wow.

While you can’t change a bad boss, you can change how you work with them, and there are strategies you can use to manage them so you can work better.

Here are the most common types of bad bosses and how to deal with them:

1. The Micromanager. He or she is right over your shoulder all the time. They want to know and be involved in everything you do, and they try to manage your every move.

How to manage the micromanager: Most micromanagers overmanage because they think the work is incredibly detailed, difficult, new, or important; they don’t trust you; or they don’t trust that the work is getting or will get done properly.

So, the key to dealing with a micromanager is to preempt, preempt, preempt. If your boss is a micromanager you have to anticipate their questions and what they want and have the answers ready before they ask. Preempt them. Give them everything they want and more. Give them regular status updates on everything you are doing, even if you have to do it on a daily basis. You want to be one step ahead of the micromanager.

The Micromanager.

Chances are, the micromanager’s behavior is a trust issue, so if you show them you have a firm handle on things and give them very detailed, very thorough updates and reports, they will back off. Micromanagers want to be in the loop, so give them what they want.

2. The Hands-Off Supervisor. This is the opposite of the micromanager. They are completely hands off, offer little guidance or input, and you never see or hear from them until something has gone wrong. This can be great, unless you need guidance or something goes wrong (and something always goes wrong).

How to deal with the hands-off supervisor: You have to be proactive and ask for what you need. Give them regular updates even if they don’t ask for them. Get on their calendar to talk with them. You have to be proactive and get the attention you need.

The Shouter.

3. The Shouter. Ouch. The shouter. Drama kings and queens. They like to be loud and shout and emote. Everything is a drama or a crisis. You only have two choices here, and shouting back isn’t one of them—never shout back at a shouter.

How to deal with a shouter: Your first choice is to let it wash over you. Just take it with a grain of salt and move along. Your second choice is to ask politely that they communicate with you in a more normal, productive way.

I know that sounds like an impossible thing to do, but it can be done. It can be very effective to ask (they probably aren't used to it), and it’s not a firing offense to ask for a calmer tone of voice. Don't be rude or act outraged. Simply say,“You know, it doesn’t help me think clearly when you shout at me. Could we have this conversation in calmer tones?” or “I don’t hear very well when someone shouts. Could we discuss this without shouting?”

Basically, when it comes to a shouter you either have to suck it up or be bold and ask for calmer tones.

The Seemingly Unqualified.

4. The Seemingly Unqualified. This is the boss who you can’t figure out how they got the job. They don’t seem to know what they are doing. They seem unqualified and incompetent. But if you spend all your time wondering how the heck she got the job, then you are going to miss how the heck she got the job, which is an important thing to learn in any workplace. She got that job for a reason; find out what it is.

How to deal with the seemingly unqualified: Be proactive in the relationship. Do what you need to do to clarify you work, be productive, and move forward. Give them updates and briefings, and cover his or her mistakes if you have to. Be sure to ay attention to the seemingly unqualified boss, because they got the job for a reason, and if you pay attention you may discover what it is. I promise you there is something you can learn from it.

5. The Friend. This seems nice. Your boss is your friend. They want to have lunch with you, know about your family, be friends on Facebook, socialize on weekends and after work, etc. The problem here is that when things go bad they go really bad. Coworkers may resent you. Your boss's boss or colleagues may resent you. If he or she gets fired you may be painted with the same brush. So proceed with extreme caution if you have a boss who wants to be friends.

How to deal with the friend: They don’t know where the line is so you have to. Don’t overshare. Don’t accept every invitation to dinner or outings. Keep some personal distance.  It’s hard because it’s flattering when the boss wants to be your friend, but you must maintain a professional distance. Be friendly, but be careful that you don’t become besties. That rarely ends well.

You can't change a bad boss, but you can control how you interact with them. Good luck!

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To watch my "Bad Bosses" segment on News Channel 8's "Let's Talk Live," please visit my TV/Media Page.

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