The Working Life: The Danger of Workplace Gossip

The Danger of Workplace Gossip

It seems so harmless. The little chitchat at the water cooler about so and so. The debate over someone’s relationship with someone else. The speculation about so and so. Is it chitchat or is it gossip? How can you tell the difference? And who cares?
There is a very big difference, and it is an important one, because gossip run amok can be dangerous and destructive in a workplace. First, while light conversation can be value neutral, gossip is often negative, inflammatory and embarrassing to the person being spoken of. So how does one tell the difference between idle chatter or gossip? Here is a test: Consider the impact of what is being said. Does it cast negative aspersions? Does it create rifts? Does it exult in the misfortune of others? Does it have a negative emotional charge? Does it serve to perpetuate conflict or negativity? Is it hurtful or damaging? Is it something you would say in front of that person?

Technically, any sharing of trivial or unsubstantiated information can be considered gossip. But you have to consider the sentiment. For example, if it were rumored that a co-worker is being promoted, and you discuss it with a co-worker, is that gossip? If the discussion is hurtful or damaging or negative, then yes, it is gossip. But if it’s value neutral then it’s not. If the story is told with negativity and without good will, then it is gossip.

Why gossip hurts
Gossip can have many adverse side effects on an organization. It can increase conflict and decrease morale. It results in strained relationships. Gossip breaks down the trust level within the group, which results in employees second-guessing each other and ultimately running to the supervisor to clarify the directions or instructions, or to settle the differences that will arise. Gossip is the death of teamwork as the group breaks up into cliques and employees start refusing to work with others.
Gossip results in the supervisor spending an enormous amount of time trying to figure out who said what to whom. Or, worse yet, the supervisor struggles to explain to the manager that the on-going conflicts and communication problems within the workgroup are the reason work doesn't get done only to hear the manager comment, "Why can't you manage your team better?" Productivity is lost, as are good employees who do not want to work in that toxic environment.

Breaking the gossip cycle
Let’s say you are not a gossiper. You simply listen to your co-workers so as not be rude. You’ve been taught to be a team player right? But here’s the thing that most people don’t realize—as a listener, you are a co-narrator to the gossip. In other words, the act of active listening actually supports and promotes gossiping. The more you listen, the more you encourage it. If you don’t listen, the gossip has nowhere to do. Think about the last time you told a story to someone who was clearly not interested. The story probably withered on the vine.
Here’s how to get out of the gossip pipeline:

1. Be busy. Gossipmongers want attention. If you're preoccupied with your work, you can't be available to listen to their latest story.
2. Don’t participate. Walk away from the story. Don’t give visual clues that you are interested in listening. If someone passes a juicy story on to you, don't pass it any further. Take personal responsibility to act with integrity.
3. Turn it around by saying something positive. It isn't nearly as much fun to spread negative news if it's spoiled by a complimentary phrase about the person being attacked
4. Avoid the gossiper. If you notice one person who consistently makes trouble, take the necessary actions to have as little interaction with that person as possible. Avoid him/her.
5. Keep your private life private. Don't trust personal information with coworkers. Remember, if they are gossiping about others, they will gossip about you, too. Don't give them ammunition.
6. Choose your friends wisely at work. You spend a good deal of time at work so it's natural for friendships to develop. Share information sparingly until you are sure that you have built up a level of trust. Also, close association with gossipers will give the perception that you are a gossiper.
7. Be direct. If you confront the gossiper and confidently tell him or her that such behavior is making it uncomfortable for you and other coworkers, it's likely to stop.
8. Don't be afraid to go to a superior. Gossiping wastes a lot of company time and hurts morale. A company interested in a healthy work environment will value the opportunity to correct this type of situation.

If you are the target of gossip you have two choices. You can confront the source or make a public statement. Thankfully, gossip has a very short life span. Sometimes, the best thing to do is let it run its (hopefully) short course. Creating a stink sometimes causes more drama than just letting it go.

What the employer can do
Gossip is as old as mankind. It is unrealistic to think we could free the workplace of gossip. It’s also conducted through the free will of employees, and regulating that is very difficult without creating a big brother climate. That being said, there are some things that employers can do to minimize negative gossiping and rumormonger:

1. Communicate regularly and consistently with employees about what's going on in the workplace. Regular communication minimizes the influence and need for gossip, because everyone is "in-the-know." If employees don't have good information from the supervisor about what is going on, they will make it up in the form of speculation and gossip. Consistent and authentic communication will work wonders in stopping the gossip.
2. Discourage gossip in official company policy. Include a section that deals with gossip in the company handbook. Convey to your employees that such talk is injurious to morale and productivity and will not be tolerated. Ask them not to participate and not to tolerate it from others.
3. Nip it in the bud. If an employee comes to you complaining of gossip, or if you know an employee to be a gossip, be proactive. Tell the offender that you are aware of his behavior. Describe how his behavior results in others not trusting them. For some, this single statement will be a realization that will result in immediate change. Furthermore, incorporate the impact the gossiping employee's behavior has had on the workplace in his/her performance evaluations. This should be incentive to stop the behavior.
4. Incorporate employee driven group discussions and expectations about gossiping. This gives permission to coworkers to hold each other mutually accountable for having a "gossip-free" workplace.
5. As a supervisor or manager—do not engage in gossip yourself. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

Successful Transitions 3: College Graduate to Working Professional

Part 3: Achieving Workplace Success 101

The Radio Show Recap...

In our third segment of Successful Transitions, O’Keyla Smith and I discussed the essential skills young people need to acquire in order to find success in the workplace. The workplace can be a strange new world for many of young adults and learning the ropes early on can really help accelerate career advancement.


O’Keyla’s Question: Let’s talk about success. How is success in school different than success at work?

Achieving success at work is VERY different than achieving success at school! School may give you knowledge—but it doesn’t teach you the process of accomplishing work effectively in the “real world.” The culture, environment, value system, and framework of the working world is almost completely opposite than those of the school world. Many young people don’t fully appreciate the enormity of this paradigm shift. Remember, most college grads have spent 16 of their 22 years learning to succeed in a school system—so it is only natural that some young people have trouble adjusting—and may even resist the new environmental “rules.” Rethinking your approach to success after 16 years can be very difficult!

Just to give you and idea of the radical differences—let me outline a few of the areas that often trip young people up:

Performance Level: At school you get to choose your performance level—do you wan to work to be an A student, or are you happy being a C student? At work, you don’t get to choose—stellar performance is always expected.

Customer or Service Provider: At school, you are the customer. The school is there to serve you. At work, you are the service provider. You are there to serve and create results for the organization.

Personal Control: At school, you have enormous personal control over your time, schedule and choices. At work, you have very little personal control.

Relationship to Authority: In actuality, school has very little true authority over you. In fact, you are often rewarded for “disagreeing” with your professors or administration. This is not the case in most workplaces. Authority at work is much more rigid and established—with very little wiggle room if you don’t like what authority is saying or doing.

Decision Making: At school you make most of your own decisions. Additionally, many members of this new generation were actively involved in family decisions. At work, most new recruits are not involved in the company’s decision making process. And this feels very unfair to many young people.

Growth Timeline: At school you are given an explicit and specific rubric for success. You are told exactly what you need to do, when you need to do it and often how you need to do it in order to succeed. You know that if you accomplish your work within that rubric you will advance and succeed in a laid out timeline. Work couldn’t be more different! There is no such rubric for success at work. Very few organizations can (or will) lay out a bullet-proof schedule for advancement and promotion.

Meritocracy versus Social System: School, by and large, is a meritocracy. This means individuals who do well get rewarded—mainly for individual accomplishments. With the exception of the occasional group project—school rewards on individual accomplishment and merit. The workplace is quite the opposite. The workplace is a social system. This means that although individual effort is important, it is not the only factor—or even the most compelling factor—in succeeding. To succeed at work, you must learn how to work with, through, and sometimes around other people. Underestimating the power of the social conditions—and I’m talking organizational culture and politics—can be a serious success derailer.

O’Keyla’s Question: What do successful people at work do better than unsuccessful people?

Successful people know how to play the game. They understand how to get results through working with others. They know how to access their skills and talents and apply them effectively in a working environment. Essentially, they know who they are, they know how to work with others and they understand the nature of organizational life.


O’Keyla’s Question: What are the essential skills a young person needs to be successful in the workplace?

To put it broadly, young people need to focus on developing three “Success Intelligences” in the following three areas:

1. Individual Intelligence: Developing and managing self
2. Interpersonal Intelligence: Developing and managing collaborative relationships
3. Organizational Intelligence: Developing organizational savvy

It really takes all three to succeed. Developing these success intelligence begins with becoming self and environmentally aware.

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets talk about Individual Intelligence. Can you provide some examples?

Individual Intelligence is about developing and managing self and attitude—this means knowing who you are and how your behaviors and actions impact those around you. I’m not talking here about hard or technical skills, I’m talking about intra-personal awareness—developing attitudes, behaviors and actions that are workplace effective and appropriate. For young people, the three biggest areas in which to concentrate are:

1. Attitudes: your attitudes and expectations must be aligned to the realities of a business environment.
2. Image: Young adults much develop and maintain a professional image at all times.
3. Impact: It is critical for young adults to understand the difference between intent and impact. Understanding and appreciating how your behaviors, actions, and attitudes impact other people is critical to achieving success. People don’t get promoted on intentions—they get promoted on impact.

O’Keyla’s Question: What mistakes do you see young people make most often around individual skills and how can they correct them?

I see three big mistakes in this area:

The first one is attitude. This is employer’s number 1 complaint about young people in the workplace today. Young people often come into today’s workplace with attitudes and expectations that are wildly misaligned to reality. This generation has a bad rap for having an attitude of entitlement. Employers complain that they come into the workplace expecting way too much way too soon.

The second big mistake I see, which goes along with the first one, is that young people today have a hard time appreciating the value of “menial” labor. They don’t understand the importance of learning from the bottom up and they feel that grunt work is beneath them. The phrase “I didn’t go to college to make copies,” needs to be banned from their vocabulary. Menial tasks are a test—no one is going to trust you with a big project until they see how you perform with a small project. Stop resisting—do menial tasks with integrity and enthusiasm and soon you will be entrusted with more responsibility.

Finally, the last mistake I see most often, is that young adults continue acting and speaking like a college student far too long. In order to succeed in a professional setting—you need to behave like a professional. People need to see you as a professional.

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets move onto Interpersonal Intelligence. What are the key elements here? Is this just about getting along with others or is it something more?

Organizations are social networks so it is more than getting along with people—you have to achieve and produce results by working with, through, and sometimes around other people. You have to learn to engage others well! This means you not only have to be good at working with others, but you also have to be someone with whom others want to work! So the key element here is learning how to build and cultivate strong working relationships and networks.

The most important working relationship for new professionals is the one they have with their boss. Your boss is the most important person you have to work with. In the beginning, they hold a tremendous amount of power and influence over your career. Don’t resist this fact—accept it. Learn how to follow!!! Here are the key elements for succeeding with your boss:

• Do the job you were hired to do
• Know what really matters to your boss and give it to him/her
• Learn your boss’ work style and adapt to it
• Make your boss look good

O’Keyla’s Question: What mistakes do you see young people make most often when dealing with other people?

I don’t think young people truly appreciate the social network aspect of work. They don’t take the time to really engage their fellow co-workers. They show up at work, listen to their i-pods, put in their 8 hours and then run back home to hang out with their friends. I would suggest, that young people put a little energy into networking and engaging with their co-workers both during work hours and after work hours. Get to know people throughout your office. Go to happy hours. Eat lunch with different people. Opportunities come through other people—the more people you know, the more opportunities will come your way.

O’Keyla’s Question: I’m curious about Organizational Intelligence. How are these skills different from the skills used at home, school or other “organizations?

This is about understanding the nature of organizational life—what makes organizations tick. Every organization has it’s own personality—or organizational culture, politics, structure, dynamics and hierarchies. Having strong Organizational Intelligence is about understanding how to navigate these dynamics. Young people need to learn and respect culture and politics—even if they don’t make sense. Getting results requires some level of adaptation—just as you wouldn’t waltz into a foreign country and flout their social norms—you need to show organizational culture the same respect. Besides, as a newbie you aren’t in a position to change culture, hierarchy or politics—so you are better off learning them and adapting to them.


O’Keyla’s Question: What mistakes do you see young people make most often when navigating organizational life?

I see lots of young people not appreciating the power structure and hierarchy that is inherent in most companies. Before jumping in to debate decisions with your boss’s boss—take some time to learn how people negotiate decisions and share power. Most companies are not democracies—you can argue with your professor—but arguing with your boss takes skill and savvy. Organizational life will be full of decisions you won’t like and enough organizational annoyances and inefficiencies to drive you crazy. It is the nature of the beast. Learn to manage your frustrations. No organization is perfect. When groups of people work together—all kinds of “stuff” gets in the way. It is what makes the world so interesting! So adapt a long term perspective when dealing with organizational annoyances.


To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

Successful Transitions: College Graduate to Working Professional

Part 2: How to Create A Professional Persona

The Radio Show Recap...

The skills needed to succeed in the workplace are very different from the skills needed for success at school. In order to help young adults survive and thrive in the workplace we created a three-part series of radio shows focused on making a successful transition from student to professional.

In this segment of “The Working Life,” O’Keyla Smith and I discussed the importance of developing an effective professional image. How does one shed the image of a college student and adopt the image of a young successful professional? We explored some of the key elements of presenting oneself with professionalism and confidence.

O’Keyla’s Question: So lets start by defining what we mean by a “professional persona”? What goes into creating a professional persona? Is it more than just clothes?

My Thoughts: Yes, a professional persona, or image, is more than just clothing—although attire is a large part of it. A professional persona is made up of these key elements:

• Attire & clothing: How you look
• Body Language: How you hold and present your physical self
• Attitude & behavior: How you think and act
• Conversation & language: How you communicate and engage others

Young people entering the workplace need to ensure all of these elements are working together to present a professional image. The more all these elements are in alignment with the image you are trying to create, the more people will see you as a competent and talented professional.

O’Keyla’s Question: Why is a professional persona so important? We’ve all been taught not to judge a book by its cover—so isn’t talent more important?

My Thoughts: A professional persona is important because it helps create opportunity. When you are new to the workforce—nobody knows you! Nobody knows your talents. Nobody knows your skills. So in order to get opportunity--you’ve got to build trust first! In fact, your biggest goal during your first year in a new job is to develop trust so that people will give you opportunities to showcase your talents.

A large part of building trust is looking the part—looking like you are a competent professional. Until people get to know you for your accomplishments, all they have to go on is how you present yourself. Remember business is a financial venture and a social venture. This means that your co-workers success is dependent on some degree to your ability to get the job done—and vice versa. People are more likely to trust someone who looks trustworthy. And the person who looks like they belong in the game has an upper hand.

Don’t forget—opportunities are lurking behind every corner—so it is more than just proving your talents to your immediate supervisor. A strong professional persona will also help you develop a positive reputation throughout the entire company.

O’Keyla’s Question: So this goes into first impressions—how long does someone have to create a positive impression and how do they ensure that they make one?

My Thoughts: People form first impressions in three seconds! That’s right. In 3 seconds, people make up their mind about you and once that impression is formed, it is very difficult to change. A lot happens in those three seconds. They are forming judgments about your competence, your personality, and your values. They are also forming judgments on your “status.” In a business setting, they are deciding if you are potentially on the same business status, a higher status, or a lower status than they. If they deem you to be equal or higher status then it will be easier for them to accept you as a colleague and peer and you are on your way to creating a potentially useful business relationship. If you are deemed as “lower,” then they will keep you at arms length—never quite accepting you as a key player.

You decide how you want others to view you. I know, it seems unfair to “judge a book by its cover,” but the sooner you realize that this is reality—it is how people are naturally wired, the sooner you can use this reality to your advantage.


O’Keyla’s Question: What are some of the biggest mistakes you’ve seen people make?

My Thoughts: Where to start? The biggest mistakes I see (and the ones that employers complain about most often) are attitudes. Many young people in the workplace just have misaligned attitudes and expectations.

O’Keyla’s Question: So what kinds of attitudes create positive professional personae?

My Thoughts: Ahhh, great question! Young people need to exhibit attitudes that reflect service and results. In college, young adults are consumers or customers—in the workplace they are service providers, so their attitudes need to reflect that. Positive professional attitudes project a willingness to get results by working effectively with others. Here are 5 essential attitudes that will help young people succeed:

1. Humility: In the workplace, the world no longer revolves around you. Learn to put other people’s needs ahead of your own.
2. Respect: You must respect the experience, history, values, and traditions of the organization that you have joined. You must also display respect to your colleagues—so learn about their values and experiences. And remember, respect looks different to different people—so learn how respect is shown in your organization and adapt to those norms.
3. Confidence (not arrogance): It is good to be confident—which means having faith in your ability to get the job done. It is wrong to be arrogant—which means you think you are better than others or that work is beneath you. Nothing is beneath a confident person. Everything is beneath an arrogant person.
4. Interest and readiness to learn (from the bottom up): Employers want employees who are eager and ready to learn. Learning in the workplace often takes the form of doing “menial” or “mundane” tasks. Do not cop an attitude when assigned these tasks. They are more than “paying dues,” they are an integral part of work production and they are an opportunity to really learn the business. Take that opportunity!
5. Gratitude: Learn to say thank you—sincerely and often. The simple act of thanking others will set you apart as a consummate professional. It will also help you quickly build strong professional relationships.

O’Keyla’s Question: How can body language create a professional persona? Does this mean I have to walk around acting uptight?

My Thoughts: Not unless you work for a bank! Okay, I’m kidding (kind of). Creating a professional persona through body language means: Carrying yourself confidently. Making eye contact when speaking with colleagues. Always giving a firm handshake. Making sure you sit and stand up straight. Squaring your body directly toward others when engaging—as opposed to using closed off/turned away body language. Remember, your body language has to inspire trust (business is a financial venture) and approachability (business is conducted through social networks). And don’t forget little things like smiling and saying hello to people go a long way in establishing trust and goodwill with colleagues!

O’Keyla’s Question: Lets talk about how young adults can converse and engage people more professionally. Is there a particular communication style that we should adopt? Or is it just a matter of losing the slang?

My Thoughts: To a large part it is about losing the slang. You have to stop talking and acting like a college student and start talking like a professional. This means lose words like “dude” and “like” when in the workplace. Your goal is to get others to see you as a professional—so the more that you speak like a student, the longer they will think of you as inexperienced. Even if your 40-something boss uses the word “dude,” resist the urge to do it yourself. It will come across as (at best) ironic when your boss uses it (or more likely pathetic) but when you use it, it will come across simply as immature.

Another part of conversing and engaging like a professional is learning proper workplace etiquette around phone skills and conversation skills. Learn what is appropriate conversation and what isn’t for your workplace. Understand that every time you open your mouth—you are either adding or detracting from your professional persona.

O’Keyla’s Question: We’ve all heard about “dress for success,” but I’m curious how that really works in today’s world. How should young people dress in today’s workplace?

My Thoughts: First and foremost: if you are a young person, dress better than you have to. The old adage still rings true: “Dress for the job you want not the job you have!” Exactly what you should wear depends largely on your profession and/or industry. You will want to dress appropriately for the culture of your organization and your profession. Bankers, for example, tend to be much more conservative than advertising professionals. So look around your organization—who is really successful? Who do you admire? How do they dress? What do their clothes say about them? What do you want your clothes to say about you?

A key element that young folk often forget is that you have to make it easy for other people to picture you in a better position! The more professional you dress, the easier it will be for others to imagine you in a better, more respected position—which means the easier it is for them to offer you opportunities.


O’Keyla’s Question: Any other tips for young adults just entering the workforce? What other habits or behaviors do you see that detract from a young person’s professionalism?

My Thoughts: Of course I have more tips! Here are a few more things that I think will help create a positive professional image:

• Clean up your E-Life. Beware what you put on your blogs, social networking sites, etc. Although, your employer doesn’t “own” your personal time, you don’t want to sabotage your well-crafted professional image by displaying drunk pictures of your “walks of shame.”
• Have virtual integrity: Your employer does actually “own” your time at work and your computer. Be careful of work time email, Internet surfing, etc. Your employer may be watching your virtual work life. Also be careful what you say about your organization on company email…
• Learn to write—too much texting has ruined many a young person’s ability to correspond professionally.
• Pay attention in meetings: Just because your boss checks his Blackberry during meetings doesn’t mean you can text your friends—he will come across as rude—but with some sort of legitimacy—you’ll just come across as spoiled and unprofessional.
• Understand the Art of Being New: It takes time to build trust and acceptance. Make sure your professional image works to help get you accepted!

To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

Successful Transitions: College Graduate to Working Professional

Part 1: Interview Tips for College Grads

The Radio Show Recap...

Summer is here which means the Washington Metro area is crawling with recent college graduates who are making the transition from student to professional. The skills needed for success in the workplace are very different from the skills needed for success at school. In order to help young adults survive and thrive in the workplace we dedicated a few shows to learning what it takes to make a successful student to professional transition.

In this segment of “The Working Life,” O'Keyla Smith and I discussed how recent college graduates can ace a job interview and make a great impression on potential employers.

O’Keyla’s Question: Interviewing can be really scary and nerve wracking! What do young people need to understand about the interviewing process? Are employers looking for certain qualities?

My Thoughts: Yes they are! It is really important for young people to understand what employers are looking for. Employers don’t actually expect you to have a whole of technical skills or experience—they expect you to have some—but what they are really looking for are your personal and transferable skills. In other words—what kind of employee you are going to be? Employers are looking for young people with strong communication and teamwork skills. They want employees who have a readiness to learn, and who are reliable and responsible. In survey after survey, employers rate following list of skills and traits as being the most important:
• Communication & interpersonal skills
• Honesty and integrity
• Teamwork skills
• Reliable, responsible, and mature
• Strong work ethic
• Motivated and flexible
• Analytical skills
• Computer skills
• Organizational skills

In short, employers want to know who you are as a person. They want to know if you’ve got what it takes to succeed in their organization. They are prepared to teach you the technical skills—provided you can prove yourself worthy of their investment.

O’Keyla’s Question: What kind of preparation should young people do before an interview? What mistakes do you see young adults make?

My Thoughts: The mistakes I most often see young people make is not taking the time to properly research the organization before the interview. Prepping before an interview is absolutely essential to differentiating yourself. Thanks to Google and the Internet, researching the company is easy and quick. There are 4 areas you should research before an interview—and you really do need to cover all of them:

1. The company/organization. You need to know the company’s products, services, markets, etc. Be familiar with their history, their structure, management, recent trends, growth areas, stock price, etc. What are their key business challenges? What is their culture like? What kind of people do they hire?
2. The Job. As much as possible find out about the job itself: What are the general responsibilities? Deliverables? Reporting structure? Find out as much as you can beforehand so your questions during the interview will be smarter and more targeted.
3. Learn about the interviewer. Find out who will be conducting your interview ahead of time. If possible, learn about his/her background and career progressions. A key element of succeeding in a job interview is building rapport with the interviewer. So it helps to find out about him/her if you can.
4. Be up to date on the industry. At the job interview you should be able to discuss industry trends and challenges, etc. What is happening in the industry? Being able to intelligently discuss trends and challenges will truly set you apart and make you stand out.

Remember—you are more than a candidate for a job—you are a potential problem solver and contributor! So the smarter and more knowledgeable you are about the business and the company, the more you’ll impress.

O’Keyla’s Question: For people who have never been on an interview, what should they expect to happen?

My Thoughts: Expect to be judged and evaluated! Interviewing is about marketing yourself effectively to a potential employer. Here is what the interviewer wants to know:

• Do you have what it takes to succeed in the job?
• Will you fit in the organization?
• Do you understand the company and its purpose/goals/challenges?
• How do you compare to your competition?
• Do you want the job?

So to succeed in an interview, you need to understand how your responses will be evaluated based on the above questions. Everything you say must assure the interviewer that you’ve got what it takes.


O’Keyla’s Question: Lets talk about the interview itself. Are there common questions that interviewers ask? Can you give some examples of how to answer these questions?

My Thoughts: A quick Internet search will quickly provide you with a plethora of resources that outline typical interview questions. The key here is to PRACTICE standard interview questions before going into an interview. Practice your answers out loud—you might even consider taping them to get a better sense of how you sound. Employ the “2-Minute Rule.” Meaning that it should never take you more than 2 minutes to answer any question. You’ll need to be able to answers questions about: previous jobs and experiences, skills, talents, and ambitions. Learn how to answer behavioral interview questions. Be succinct and to the point. Don’t ramble. Answer the question asked as thoughtfully and succinctly as possible.

And don’t forget to have a great answer prepared for when the interviewer says, “Tell me about yourself.” This is often the first question asked and if you answer it well, you’ll get your interview off to a great start.

O’Keyla’s Question: Let’s talk about image and dress. How do you know what to wear? How does one create a professional persona?

My Thoughts: This is a critical aspect of the interviewing process. First of all, you have to look like you belong in the game—you have to dress the part. The business world is a financial venture conducted through a social system. This means that your image has to both inspires trust and confidence and one that matches the culture or the industry or organization. Dressing for the interview is not about standing out as a unique individual—it is about appearing to belong in a particular culture—a business culture. Dress for the career you want—not for the career you are leaving. Match your dress and image to the profession or business in which you want to succeed in. Dress better than you have to. When you make an effort to look the part—you broadcast to the world that you take yourself seriously and the job seriously.


O’Keyla’s Question: What about body language? They say the 70% of communication is non-verbal. What are some of the do’s and don’ts?

My Thoughts: People form a first impression in 3 seconds. Since most of us can’t even say hello in 3 seconds, a first impression is formed largely on body language and attire. Your body language has to communicate confidence, trustworthiness, and maturity. Some simple do’s and don’ts:
DO
• Good straight posture (both standing and sitting)
• Open body language
• Smiling
• Eye contact
• Firm handshake

DON'T
• Slouch or slump
• Fidget
• Tap foot, twirl hair, touch face or other nervous tics
• Avoid eye contact/look away
• Stuff hands in pockets
• Close body language (fold arms, clench fists, etc.)

O’Keyla’s Question: What about follow-up after the interview? Is e-mail okay or does it have to be handwritten?

My Thoughts: It is very important to have a clear follow-up process. This will depend on the timing of the recruitment process. If you are one of the first to interview—then you may be looking at a longer turnaround time. During the interview, ask the interviewer (or recruiter) where they are in their interviewing/hiring process. Ask about the decision-making process and timeline. Most interviewers should be able to give you some idea about when you might expect to hear something. Let them guide you into an appropriate follow-up process. Don’t be afraid to ask! It is a completely legitimate and mature question. They will actually appreciate your taking responsibility by asking.

As for thank you notes, I’m old school. I think the handwritten note (on excellent card stock) makes you stand out. And besides, it is just classier.

O’Keyla’s Question: Any other tips?

My Thoughts: Don’t be late for the interview. If you are going to be late—you better call with a really great excuse. Being late is a pretty big hurdle to overcome—so do everything you can to ensure you arrive on time.

Be nice to everyone you meet on site—and I mean everyone. Some organizations incorporate the impressions of other employees (like the receptionist and security guard) when evaluating a candidate. Smile and say hello to all you encounter!

Also, watch your cell phone calls! Don’t talk about your interview or the company anywhere nears the interview site! You never know who is walking behind you up the steps…



To Listen to an archive of this show: http://www.hot995.com/pages/wafaudio.html

The Working Life: Acing the Interview
How to make every interview experience a winner
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of The Working Life, Mary Abbajay gives the lowdown on how to ace interviews each and every time. By spending some time preparing properly--everyone can ace their interviews. The following article summarizes the key elements you need to know.


We all know that not every job interview, even a great one, results in getting a job offer. But sometimes a good interview can lead to an offer in another department, or a referral to another company or organization, so whether you get that job or not, the interview is the most crucial and memorable factor.

Prepare thyself
Preparing for the interview is key and there are four categories to cover.

1. Know the company. This is the best place to start. You’ve got to know the company, their products, services, markets, etc. You should research their history, structure, management, recent trends, growth areas, stock price, etc. Read papers and magazines, search on-line. What are their key challenges? What is their culture like? What kind of people do they hire? Do you know anyone who works there? If so, talk to them. Brush up on who the company is and what they do. Interviewers are impressed with breadth of knowledge about their company, especially if it is relevant and timely. Read the trades and try to talk intelligently about a new product or service. Show that you follow the industry and the company.
2. Know the job. What is it, what are the general responsibilities? Who will you report to? What are the expectations and daily responsibilities? Many of these will be answered in the interview itself, but it important to know what it is you are interviewing for, that way you can bring to bear your relevant experience. Find out as much as you can beforehand so your questions will be smarter and more targeted.
3. Learn about the interviewer. A key element to a successful job interview is building a good rapport with the interviewer. So it helps to find out about him or her if you can. This is easy through Internet searches, trade publications, etc. Learn about the background and career progressions of the interviewer, so that you can understand who they are and where they are coming from. You might also discover some common ground, like a shared alma mater or a shared love of rock climbing. You can also flatter the interviewer by pointing out a career milestone or particularly impressive initiative. Just don’t come across as smarmy. Sincerity will always win out. Remember, the interviewer is the gatekeeper here, so play your hand well.
4. Be up to date on the industry and the profession. At the job interview you should be able to discuss industry and professional trends. You should know where that company and others like it are headed. You should know the challenges and trends for that career and in that industry. Being able to intelligently discuss trends and challenges will set you apart. Remember, you are more than a candidate for a job; you are a potential problem solver and contributor to that organization.

Staying calm
You’re prepped and ready. You are brushed and polished and armed with facts and figures and impressive statistics. You’re also sitting in the waiting room sweating bullets. Relax. Easier said than done, right? Actually, there are lots of techniques you can use to stay calm.

The first is to make sure you are thoroughly prepared. By now, you should have practiced your answers, out loud. This helps you develop “muscle memory.” Literally talk yourself through the interview. Verbalize what you are going to say ahead of time. You’ll be amazed at much this will help relax you.

Second, visualize yourself doing well in the interview before the interview. See yourself talking confidently and easily. See yourself answering the questions thoughtfully and intelligently. See the interview going smoothly. Almost everyone at the top of their game, from professional athletes to actors, uses visualization techniques to achieve very real success. It works.

Next, remember to breathe. Taking long slow breaths is really the best and most proven way to relax your body and your mind. Inhale slowly counting to six. Start low in your belly and inhale up through your chest. Hold it briefly and exhale slowly, counting to six. Feel the oxygen course through your stressed out body. This will help lower your heart rate and calm you.
And keep a hankie ready if you get sweaty palms. No one likes a wet handshake.


Body language
A picture speaks a thousand words, and so does your outfit. Dressing appropriately is imperative. A first impression is made in the first three seconds—make sure yours is one of a confident and competent professional. For men, this means a dark suit and tie. For ladies, a conservative suit and blouse or shirt. Your outfit should convey confidence and good taste, but it is you who should stand out, not your loud tie or low cleavage

When you meet the interviewer offer a firm handshake. Make eye contact and thank them right off the bat for meeting with you. Wait for the interviewer to invite you to sit down. Then, be aware of your body language. You want to project open, relaxed and confident body language. Sit up straight. Make eye contact. Don’t fidget. Look the interviewer in the eye. Smile. Don’t cross your arms, don’t touch your face or hair nervously, don’t jiggle your legs or feet and don’t stuff your hands in your pocket or sit on them. You want to project confidence.

When responding to a question, speak directly to the person who asked it. Don’t look around the room. Listen carefully to the questions—your interviewer is giving you important clues—make sure you answer the questions asked.

Don’t talk too much. This is a fatal error many people make. Rambling on during your interview is a sure sign of weakness. Practicing beforehand, out loud, will help you give a complete answer without the extra baggage

Don’t be too familiar with the interviewer. Be friendly, but professional. Be energetic but not overly familiar. Do not overreach your position as candidate.

Don’t be arrogant. Learn the difference between confidence and arrogance and practice it.
Familiarize yourself with behavioral interviewing techniques where you use your past experiences and behaviors as an indicator of your future success. In other words, if you can demonstrate through examples that you accomplished something before, the interviewer may have the tendency to believe you may do it again. Be prepared to succinctly talk about past successes with concrete examples. Again, practice.

What do they want?
Obviously, they want something. They want a position filled, sure, but they really want a problem solved. Here is what the interviewer wants to know:

• Do you have the skills for the job?
• Are you motivated and enthusiastic?
• Are you willing to learn?
• Can you take initiative and problem solve?
• Will you fit in the organization?
• Do you understand the company and its purpose, goals and challenges?
• How do you compare to your competition?
• Do you want the job?

You should also have some questions for the interviewer. Many will probably be answered in the course of discussing the job, but this is also where listening well during the interview comes into play. The best questions come from listening to what is asked during the interview and asking for additional information. Other areas for questions should be around what is important to you as a potential employee—remember, you are interviewing them as well.

Some questions you may want to ask the interviewer:

• What do you see as the biggest challenges goals in the next 24 months? (For the job and the organization)
• What kind of person succeeds in this organization?
• Where are you in the interview process and how should I follow-up after the interview?
• How and when will you be notified about the position?

The follow-up
The first thing to do when the interview is over is go home and write a hand written thank-you note. The note should be written to the person with whom you interviewed (and make sure you have their name and address correct). The note should be on good paper and should be just a few lines long. It should thank them for their time and the opportunity to interview for the position, convey that you are excited about the prospect of working for that company and that you look forward to hearing from them soon. In this day and age, it is perfectly acceptable to send an immediate thank you via e-mail, but it should always be followed up by a hand written note.

In truth, the most agonizing part of an interview is the wait. Employers are notoriously bad about letting you know if you didn’t get the job. And by the way, if you are an employer, I need to remind you that it is totally unacceptable to invite someone to interview at your organization and then leave them hanging for long periods of time. You have a responsibility to the reputation of your organization to treat candidates with respect and courtesy. That said, as the interviewee there are a few things you can do to speed this along.

First of all, you should ask the interviewer or recruiter where they are in the interviewing/hiring process. It could be that they have structured a three-month window to interview for the position and you may have come in at the very beginning. If this is the case, you may be in for a long wait based on their time line. It is important to find this out when you interview so that you don’t spend months agonizing.

No matter what, get a date by which you expect to hear something. Then, follow up once or twice, no more, if you haven’t heard by the promised day. Of course, these dates may change if there is a second or third interview process. Just remember, there is a fine line between an appropriate follow-up and being a pest. The stronger a candidate you are, the more likely your call, note or e-mail will be received courteously. But unless invited to do so, don’t follow-up more than once a week.

What if you don’t get it?
If you didn’t get the job, it is perfectly okay to request feedback. Don’t push too hard, just ask politely who they hired and why. You want to find out what qualities or qualifications you lacked, what you could work toward. You don’t want to put them on the spot or make them feel bad. And you certainly don’t want to be confrontational or argumentative, so be sure to be courteous and respectful. Say, “Thank you for the opportunity. May I ask what things I might work on to be better prepared for a position like this?” Or “What experience or qualities did the person you hired possess that were lacking in my application?” Try to keep it positive and friendly. You can ask for feedback but very often people will not give it. But if you have built a strong rapport with the interviewer or recruiter and are courteous you stand a better chance of having your questions answered.

Remember, even if you didn’t get that job, if you have built a good rapport with the interviewer or recruiter they will remember you for another position or refer you to another department or organization. You can leverage that interview process into another job or networking resource if your behavior was professional and courteous. They will remember how you acted, how you dressed, whether you were prepared, the language you used, whether you followed up with a thank you note, whether you were gracious after not getting that job. If you handled it correctly, that relationship, even if it didn’t yield a job that time, can lead to one in the future.


To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

The Working Life: College Grads
Your Prescription for Success
The Radio Show Recap...

In this segment of The Working Life, Mary Abbajay outlines the basic building blocks for a successful post-college career launch. The following article summarizes the key elements for initiating an effective job search.

Congratulations and Good Luck!
Whether you’ve graduated from college or about to, congratulations. You’ve completed one major phase of your life and are about to begin another. Now, the hard work of getting into the working world begins. College life has changed dramatically in the past 10-20 years, and the pressure starts earlier than ever for graduating seniors to find a job and start their careers. Though there are many different areas to focus on, there is a simple prescription for a successful and smooth entry into the workforce.

The all-important resume
Resumes should tell a story about who you are and what your skills and talents are. Now, obviously, a 21-year old is not going to have the same resume as a seasoned veteran of the workforce. Employers know this, so don’t worry about impressive credentials. Just do the best you can with your experience so far and find things that highlight your strengths and applicable skills.

Most college seniors have had a few jobs and hopefully an internship or two. Any kind of job, internship, volunteer work or affiliation needs to go on your resume. If you were a lifeguard, put it on (that’s a position of great responsibility). If you worked in an ice-cream shop, put it on. If you babysat, put it on. Were you a member of a club, fraternity, sorority or sports team? Did you help with fundraisers or special events? Did you do volunteer work? Remember volunteering is work; it just isn’t paid. Volunteering also shows a level of social and community consciousness and commitment that many employers find valuable. It’s also good work experience.

The most important thing about “starter” jobs is to show that you were given responsibility. Did your manager give you tasks that reflected a level of responsibility, like locking up at night, opening in the morning, making deposits, running the register? Try to find those jobs or activities in which you were part of a team and helped lead it or had responsibility of some sort, however minor it may seem to you. Studies show that perceived leadership skills are as important in the hiring decision as your major, your alma mater, or your grade point average. Whatever you did or were involved in that reflects leadership and responsibility should go on your resume.

And don’t get fancy with your resume. Resumes should be simple, easily readable and written in a standard format. Don’t go over one page and don’t use fancy fonts or colored paper. Pink paper and unreadable type are annoying to an employer. You want to stand out because of who you are, not because your resume is kitschy. And always, always, spell check. Nothing sinks a candidate quicker than misspelling liaison.

What if you have nothing to put on your resume?
If you have absolutely no work experience (and remember volunteering is work), then you are going to have to talk about your academic achievements. Ironically, this is not optimal. Stellar academics are desirable, but employers are looking for leaders and marketable skills. But it is not the end of the world, depending on what kind of profession you are trying to enter. Try to convey your academic achievements in such a way as to be marketable to the employer. A high g.p.a. in and of itself doesn’t translate to being a good employee, unless you can draw the correlation between that success and employment success. In other words, did you work with a team, run a special project, assisst the professor, do independent research or study? Find something marketable about your academics and highlight that.

Internships and volunteer work are great for experience and are essential components of a resume. If you are a student or a graduate with no work experience, then you should really consider getting an internship, even an unpaid one. If you have to, you can always work nights while interning during the day. The same goes for volunteer work. Both look great on a resume and both can provide you with work skills. You’ve got to get some work experience--paid, unpaid, interning or volunteering. Just do it.

Using your college
You’ve paid a bundle for that education. The college knows this and wants you to be a successful alum. Almost every college has a career center and or an alumni network that you can use to your advantage. Though these services can be a mixed bag – some are much better and more serious than others – they are always worth checking out. Many offer job counseling, job fairs and internship programs. Some will set up real or practice interviews for you, help you with resume and hone your interview skills. Many offer personality and skills tests that can help you focus on your career choices.

You should definitely leverage the alumni relations department, especially at schools with a lot of school spirit. Most alumni who have taken the time to register with the career center are more than willing to help and will bend over backwards to help new graduates. Usually, these alumni are broken out by profession and can be counted on to provide information about a certain field, advice on getting into it and will review your resume. They may also off internships, informational interviews and invaluable contacts in your field. Don’t be shy here – this is called networking and it is one of the best ways to get a job.

Use your friends and professors, too. Does someone have a parent, sibling or associate in your field? Again, don’t be shy. This is what networking is all about.

Taking the summer off
Some people might argue that if you’re a graduating senior, this is the last summer of freedom, so why not just hang out, go to the beach, and have a few months of relaxation before hitting the job interview circuit in September? This is, of course, a personal choice. And while it may very well be true that this is your last summer of “freedom” you need to remember that there are millions of other graduates who may not be looking at it that way. Will all the good jobs be gone?

In order to decide, you have to look at the hiring cycle of your desired profession or industry. If you want to enter one that actively seeks college graduates, then taking the summer off may be a problem. In other professions, entry-level jobs may open up all the time, so taking one last summer off may not be a big deal.

One also has to weigh the fact that this is a huge generation, almost as big as the baby boomers, so while the economy is good and organizations are competing for top talent, one still has to recognize that this generation will face a lot of competition for the “good jobs,” no matter how much time you spend at the beach.

Helicopter parents
Let’s talk about mom and dad for a minute. A generation ago, parents were not involved in their children’s careers, academically or professionally. We all just got kicked out of the house after we graduated and found jobs. Now, however, parents are playing a huge role in their children’s lives, with many parents guiding and coaching their kids all the way through college and through their entry into the work force.
While some college graduates might actually enjoy their parents’ involvement, there is a point where a parent’s well-meaning but over eagerness to swoop in and manage their kids lives does more harm than good. This is called “helicopter parenting” and it can be very damaging.

The transition from student to professional is a huge one. It’s probably one of the biggest most people make. This transition is really about becoming a full-fledged adult. You stop being coddled and start being responsible for yourself. You start to really make your own choices, and if your parents are still heavily involved, you’re not really an adult, are you? If the goal here is to create responsible, independent, creative and resourceful adults, then parents have a fine line to walk here, in my opinion. They need to see that their children must make their own choices. You can help them be as ready and informed as possible, but they need to decide for themselves, even if it means making mistakes. After all, that’s part of being an adult.

Are you ready?
We hear the phrase “workforce readiness” quite a bit in the media, and the notion that what kids learn in high school and college doesn’t really prepare them for the workplace. Sadly, this is largely true and a rash of articles about how this generation is having trouble getting along in the workplace bolsters that view. For example, the Wall Street Journal recently reported that many managers are having to praise their new recruits more because they have grown up in a culture where everyone is a winner.

On the other hand, this is the most well educated and technically savvy generation ever. The balance that has to be struck is between technical and academic readiness, which they may have, and professional polish, which they may lack. It is not an insurmountable chasm. College graduates just need to know getting the job and succeeding in the job are two very different things.




To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html

The Working Life: Bad Apples:
Dealing with people who just don't get it
The Radio Show Recap...


In this segment of “The Working Life,” Mary discussed how to recognize and deal with "bad apples" in organizational life. These folks can destroy organizational morale and productivity faster than you can say William Tell.


Every company, organization or department has at least one employee who doesn’t carry his or her weight, who is actively negative or who sabotages others’ work or performance. You know them: they are the bad apples, and there is one in every bunch. These are the people who don’t do their jobs properly or, conversely, they perform but are complete jerks in the process. They can be lazy, arrogant, mean, untrustworthy, backbiting, condescending, etc. And they can be found in all echelons of an organization.

Basically these are people who don’t respect the organization or their coworkers. Essentially they don’t live the “values” of the organization. And, while values differ from company to company, I’ve never seen “being a jerk” on any company’s value chart.

A bad apple can take a huge toll on a company. Someone who doesn’t carry his weight, is obnoxious, or just plain refuses to play by the rules is like a bad virus. Their attitude and behavior can infect a staff or organization. That, in turn, can affect company morale, trust and productivity. If not addressed your staff will quickly become resentful, jaded and unproductive. And the bottom line will suffer.

The problem is that many managers allow bad apples to fester. Remember—you get what you reward. And when you ignore bad behavior you are essentially rewarding it. By not confronting it and dealing with it, you send the message that it is acceptable. People aren’t stupid. They are going to notice.

In the public sector, government, for example, managers allow this to happen because it is the path of least resistance. Terminating someone is just so time consuming and fraught with potential legal actions that many managers believe it is simply easier to allow bad apples to sit there and rot away. The private sector is more likely to put up with bad behavior if the person is a producer—that is, someone who seemingly serves the bottom line, so his behavior is tolerated. I’m here to tell you that you need to come out from whichever curtain you are hiding behind, because these people are hurting your organization. Do the right thing – confront the situation and get rid of the bad apples.

What is and isn’t bad behavior
So what constitutes a bad apple? Is an occasional outburst or flare-up acceptable? Is bad language okay? How about being late? Each company has to decide what is and isn’t acceptable. You must look to your own corporate value system for the answers. If being late really doesn’t affect the work, then that might be tolerable. But if being punctual is an important part of the job, or if being late angers other co-workers and brings down morale, then it shouldn’t be tolerated.

As an employer, I have tolerated more than I should have at times, especially when the employee was particularly talented and very personable. But if it affected company morale or the bottom line, then the behavior had to stop. I would tolerate the lack of soft skills over hard skills, but there is always a line; the key is to identify it, and it’s different for every company.

How to cope with the bad apples
If the behavior is not so egregious that the person needs to be confronted or fired, then there are some basic coping skills co-workers and managers can employ.

• Avoidance. Try not to interact with this person any more than necessary.
• Humor. Try to look at this person as a funny/absurd/opportunity to tell stories. Not the most gracious approach, but sometimes if you can find the humor and the innocence in a situation, it can help you get through it (sexual harassment is not one of them).
• Consider the political landscape. Is this person really connected? If so, the reality is that you may have to work a bit harder to find a way to deal with this person.
• Empathy: Most jerks are jerks because there is something deficient about them. And that is kind of sad. Chances are they are jerks in their personal lives as well. Try to find that part of you that would befriend something that was wounded. Try to find some glimmer of humanity. Think Michael Scott from The Office.

When all else fails
Peers and co-workers can play a big role in turning the bad apple around. If the bad apple is a peer, and you feel comfortable doing so, find a way to address the problem tactfully but directly. Do it privately or in a very small, trusted group. Explain to the person what you see him doing and your concerns about it. Express that you want to see him succeed but that you are afraid his current behavior may not be the best way to reach his goals. If nothing happens and you continue to see the ill effects of this behavior, then you must send it up the chain. Find a trusted leader or manager and let them know what is happening. Be sure you can speak articulately and specifically about the impact of the bad apple’s behavior.

If you’re a manager or supervisor and one or more of your employees comes to you with complaints or feedback about a troublesome employee, and you know with certainty that the complaint is valid, you must take action immediately.

There are five steps to take:

1. Confront the person directly. Tell the person exactly what your concerns are with his behavior. Cite examples. Do not make it personal or single out who complained. Don’t say, “Carol complained about you.” Make sure you do your homework and use “I” or “We. Say: I am not happy with the way you are treating your co-workers.
2. Describe the impact of the behavior. Use specifics: “When you call your co-workers white trash losers you destroy our teamwork and morale,” or “When you don’t do your weekly reports it adds more work for the rest of your team.”
3. State the change you want to see. Again be specific. Link to corporate values. “I need you to stop that behavior immediately. You must treat co-workers with civility and respect.”
4. Be explicit about the ramifications. “If you continue with this behavior, you will be terminated. This is your one warning.”
5. Follow up. If the behavior is modified then make sure you acknowledge it. Remember, you get what you reward. If the behavior doesn’t change, then you must terminate.

A note about termination... The famous Jack Welch says if you terminate someone for not exhibiting corporate values then you should make that explicit when you speak of the termination. You don’t soft-pedal it by saying “Carol wanted to spend time with her family.” You say, “Carol was asked to leave because she was unable to be a good team player.”
When you get rid of a “bad apple” use it as an opportunity to teach and reinforce your corporate value system.

What if the jerk is you?
Yikes! What do you do if your supervisor has that talk with you? If you are the one with the bad attitude that your co-workers have been complaining about? What do you do? First of all, take a good deep breathe, because you’re going to need it. You have to look at this as an opportunity for growth. Chances are you’ve probably heard this feedback before, so take a good long look at yourself and try to accept the feedback. Make the choice to really look at how you currently operate. Ask your boss for a comprehensive 360 review, where you get feedback from all levels of the organization. This should be accompanied with a game plan for change and a follow-up schedule. You can also ask for a professional coach, who can be a very supportive neutral third party who can give you objective feedback as well as practical guidance in improving how you engage with others.

Above all, don’t spiral into self-loathing or denial. Remember, business is very much a social activity and your behavior may simply be a lack of basic social engagement skills. In many ways we are talking about emotional intelligence. The silver lining here is that with a little work and self-awareness, emotional intelligence and engagement skills can be learned. If you’re the bad apple, you don’t have to be tossed, you just have to accept the challenge to change.


To Listen to an archive of this show: http://washfm.com/pages/waf.html