Got Fired? Here's What To Do

You may have seen it coming, but it still feels like a kick in the stomach: You’re fired or laid off. Now what? Here are eight tips to help you through it:

1. Keep it together. Stay calm. Do not panic. You won’t be able to listen, absorb important information, or move forward if you panic. And no one will help you if you act out.

2. Get your papers together and prepare yourself. You will need documents and info for your meeting with HR and for moving on, including:

• Your resume
• A list of your accomplishments
• A complete list of everything in your pay and benefits package
• A list of any awards or certificates you’ve earned
• Contact info for all of your clients and colleagues

3. Be polite and professional. You want to preserve the relationship you have with your organization, manager, and HR, and if you remain calm and professional you’ll get more help. Don’t rant and rave and leave on a bad note. Don’t burn bridges.

4. Make a list of questions to ask, including:

• Why was I terminated or laid off?
• If it was for performance, what specifically?
• Will you give me a letter of reference or recommendation?
• How will we phrase my termination? Will I be able to say it simply wasn’t a good fit, or that my department was downsized? What will you tell prospective employers?
• If it’s a lay off, is there a prospective rehire date?
• What are you offering in my severance package?
• What about unused holiday, vacation, sick, or comp time?
• What about my 401K or retirement package?
• Can I keep my health insurance?
• Can I take my contacts or client files?
• Do you offer job training or placement services?

5. If they offer a non-compete, wait to sign it until you’ve had a chance to look it over, possibly with an employment attorney. I also would not sign it unless it was tied to a severance package. Ask for a few days to review the document and any package with it.

6. Start networking immediately. This is where being polite and professional helps a lot. Remember, everyone at your workplace is a potential contact or referral for you. People will remember how you handle this situation, and you want them to remember that you handled it with grace and dignity. Leave them impressed.

7. Wallow. You’re going to be upset, very upset. So go ahead and take three days to wallow in your misery. Lay on the couch. Eat ice cream. Watch all four seasons of Game of Thrones. But three days, that’s it. After that, get up and get started.

8.Then get back to work. Your new job is to get a new job. Get up everyday as if you are going to work: shower and dress, and sit at your desk to plan and execute your strategy. Don’t turn on the TV on play on the computer. Start looking immediately for a new job:

• If your old firm offers career placement or counseling services, set up an appointment right away.
• Build your network. Make a list of contacts. Contact friends, former colleagues, and coworkers. Make sure you get your story straight, and that they hear it from you. This doesn’t mean you should lie, but get your spin together. Don’t gossip or badmouth your boss or company.
• Redo your resume.
• Build your career. Take classes, develop new skills, make the changes you’ve been meaning to make. Learn something new. 
• Consider professional temp work. It’s always been a great way to land a job, and, as everyone knows, it’s easier to find a job when you are employed than unemployed.
• Stay positive and focused. The worst thing you can do is spiral downward into catastrophic thinking and feeling sorry for yourself. You’ve got to think positive and act professionally. 

When you get fired or laid off, the most important things to remember are to leave with professionalism and grace, keep a good relationship with your former employer and coworkers, and keep a positive attitude. Wallowing in self-pity will not land you your next job. But keeping your spirits up, your network alive, and your mind open almost certainly helps. Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, please visit my website.

Five Tips to Stay Competitive in a Young Market

I hate the term “seasoned worker.” It makes me feel old rather than experienced. But that’s what we call people 50 and older who have 20+ years’ experience in the working world. Seasoned workers don’t get as much respect as they used to, despite the fact that they comprise between 25-35 percent of our workforce.

Seasoned workers are beginning to feel the pinch of ageism as many businesses and companies look to a younger workforce, fearing that older workers cost too much, have outdated skills, and are less productive than younger workers.

You're not old, you're seasoned!

The first thing to bear in mind is that this simply isn’t true. Research shows that older workers have a stronger work ethic, are more dependable and punctual, and are more organized than many of their younger colleagues. People over 50 bring more experience in dealing with workplace problems, handling difficult issues, and working with a variety of personality types.

Furthermore, certain industries actually place a higher value on seasoned workers, including education, health, nonprofits, and government agencies. These fields, while dedicated to equal opportunity for people of all ages, place a value on the life, work experience, and dedication that Boomers and seasoned employees bring to the job.

Nevertheless, the truth is that many hiring managers tend to favor younger workers over older workers, assuming they have better skill sets. But seasoned workers can be just as competitive and attractive as their younger counterparts.

Here are five tips to stay competitive in the marketplace:

1. Make sure your skill set is contemporary. This is obvious but it needs to be said. If you want to be competitive in the marketplace, you must have the current technological skills and knowledge of the younger people entering the workforce. You have to keep up. Brush up on the latest programs, operating systems, applications, programs, social media sites, gadgets, etc. This is critical.

2. Make sure your look is contemporary. You don’t want to look like a young hipster, but you do want to be stylish, contemporary, and modern. You want to look like you belong in 2014, not 1984.

Dress for the times and your age.

3. Be positive and confident. Your attitude should be confident and positive. You have the experience to tackle any new challenge; act like it. You aren’t old, you aren’t “overqualified,” you are a seasoned asset. Sell yourself as such.

4. Live in the now. Don’t dwell on the past or talk about “how things used to be.” Younger workers are living in the now, and so should you. You need to be current not just on technology but on cultural and social issues, too. Be modern.

Be flexible and adapt to the modern office.

5. Be flexible and adaptable. Many workplaces these days are open, decentralized, virtual, and highly collaborative. People may be more informal than you are used to. Being flexible and open to new ways of working is key.

Being seasoned is an incredible asset. Use it to your advantage. Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, visit my website.

Watch my TV appearances! Visit my Media Page.

New Job Blues: How To Tell If It's You or the Job, and What To Do About It

Many people head into new jobs only to find that they aren’t too thrilled with the reality of it. Whether you’ve just entered the work force for the first time or you’ve switched jobs, New Job Blues can strike. The blues usually pop up two to three months after starting working. Symptoms include:

• Feelings of dissatisfaction or frustration
• Feeling tired, having low energy, or feeling low-level depression
• Feeling unfulfilled
• Questioning your choices and your future.
• Wondering, “This is what I went to college for?” or “This is what I left my other job for?”

The good news is that new job blues are often temporary; you might just need time to adjust to your new workplace, schedule, field, or position. You can cure the blues with a little insight, a little attitude adjustment, and some tips and strategies.

First, I’m going to tell you what NOT to do:

• Do not disconnect from potential mentors or advisors; you might need help adjusting, acclimating, and feeling part of the team.
• Do not assume the problem is the job and not you, or vice versa; in fact, do not assume anything.
• Do not quit and run off to grad school or some other job.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help from inside or outside your organization.

Now, here is what you can do to beat the blues:

The first thing is to determine the cause. It’s entirely possible that it’s not the job or the field; you just might not be used to actually having to go to work every day or are still unfamiliar with your new workplace. So try to isolate factors. Ask:

• Is it the transition?
• Are you just tired and out of sorts from getting up early, commuting, working set hours, etc.?
• Are you feeling lonely because you haven't connected with anyone at work yet?
• Is it the job? The company?
• Were your expectations too high?
• Do you like what you do?
• Look up the company ladder and around the office. Do you like what you see? Do you like what the company does?
• Would you like to do what other people in your organization are doing?

Once you have asked and answered these questions, you should know if it’s normal transitional hiccups or if it’s something bigger, like the job itself, the company, or the field.

If it’s just transitional blues, understand that it’s perfectly normal, and that you are going to feel shockwaves for some time. It’s no small feat to become accustomed to a new routine, workplace, or job. And take a good look at your expectations and work ethic. You might have to toughen up a bit.

Is it the job or is it you?

If you are new to the working world and you determine that you like the industry or profession but don’t like the entry-level drudgery or dues paying of your job, you have to suck it up. You will not get ahead until you have worked in that field. You’ve got to lose the green and gain experience, and that usually means starting at the bottom.

Similarly, if you like the profession or industry but do not like the company, you also have to suck it up until you have enough experience and have paid enough dues so that you can add that entry-level job to your resume. The more experience you have, even just a few months to a year, the more marketable you will be. It doesn’t look good on a resume to quit after four weeks.

Conversely, if you determine that you like the company but not the job then start networking within that organization. If they liked you well enough to hire you, there is a good chance they will help you find a more appropriate home in the organization. So meet people. Explore other opportunities. Get informational interviews with people in other areas. Volunteer to work on other projects in areas you think would make you happier. Network, network, network.

Last, if you hate the job, the profession, and the company, and you aren’t just being a baby about having to get up at 6:45 a.m., then you have to do some soul searching to determine what it is you want you to do. There are tons of resources out there to help you:

• Take a career aptitude test. There are lots on the Internet. Here are two examples: http://www.oprah.com/money/Aptitude-Tests-Career-Assessment and http://www.assessment.com
• If you are a recent college graduate your school probably has career services. Use them. 
• Hire a career coach. They can help you determine and define your interests, skills, and talents, and will help you create a game plan for pursuing and accomplishing your goals. It can be money well spent if you are really spinning your wheels.
• Read some career-aptitude books like, What Color Is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles or Career Match: Connecting Who You Are with What You Love to Do by Shoya Zichy.

Once you figure out if it's just normal transitional issues or it's the job, company, or industry, you can work to cure your blues. Good luck!

~~~

For more information on Careerstone Group, visit my website.

Want to watch my TV appearances? Visit my Media Page.

How to Deal with a Bad Boss

Your boss has an enormous influence over how you work and the quality of your work life. Sadly, bad bosses are a fact of working life. Forbes magazine recently reported that three out of four employees say that their boss is the worst and most stressful part of their job. And another 65 percent of employees surveyed said that they would take a new boss over a pay raise. Wow.

While you can’t change a bad boss, you can change how you work with them, and there are strategies you can use to manage them so you can work better.

Here are the most common types of bad bosses and how to deal with them:

1. The Micromanager. He or she is right over your shoulder all the time. They want to know and be involved in everything you do, and they try to manage your every move.

How to manage the micromanager: Most micromanagers overmanage because they think the work is incredibly detailed, difficult, new, or important; they don’t trust you; or they don’t trust that the work is getting or will get done properly.

So, the key to dealing with a micromanager is to preempt, preempt, preempt. If your boss is a micromanager you have to anticipate their questions and what they want and have the answers ready before they ask. Preempt them. Give them everything they want and more. Give them regular status updates on everything you are doing, even if you have to do it on a daily basis. You want to be one step ahead of the micromanager.

The Micromanager.

Chances are, the micromanager’s behavior is a trust issue, so if you show them you have a firm handle on things and give them very detailed, very thorough updates and reports, they will back off. Micromanagers want to be in the loop, so give them what they want.

2. The Hands-Off Supervisor. This is the opposite of the micromanager. They are completely hands off, offer little guidance or input, and you never see or hear from them until something has gone wrong. This can be great, unless you need guidance or something goes wrong (and something always goes wrong).

How to deal with the hands-off supervisor: You have to be proactive and ask for what you need. Give them regular updates even if they don’t ask for them. Get on their calendar to talk with them. You have to be proactive and get the attention you need.

The Shouter.

3. The Shouter. Ouch. The shouter. Drama kings and queens. They like to be loud and shout and emote. Everything is a drama or a crisis. You only have two choices here, and shouting back isn’t one of them—never shout back at a shouter.

How to deal with a shouter: Your first choice is to let it wash over you. Just take it with a grain of salt and move along. Your second choice is to ask politely that they communicate with you in a more normal, productive way.

I know that sounds like an impossible thing to do, but it can be done. It can be very effective to ask (they probably aren't used to it), and it’s not a firing offense to ask for a calmer tone of voice. Don't be rude or act outraged. Simply say,“You know, it doesn’t help me think clearly when you shout at me. Could we have this conversation in calmer tones?” or “I don’t hear very well when someone shouts. Could we discuss this without shouting?”

Basically, when it comes to a shouter you either have to suck it up or be bold and ask for calmer tones.

The Seemingly Unqualified.

4. The Seemingly Unqualified. This is the boss who you can’t figure out how they got the job. They don’t seem to know what they are doing. They seem unqualified and incompetent. But if you spend all your time wondering how the heck she got the job, then you are going to miss how the heck she got the job, which is an important thing to learn in any workplace. She got that job for a reason; find out what it is.

How to deal with the seemingly unqualified: Be proactive in the relationship. Do what you need to do to clarify you work, be productive, and move forward. Give them updates and briefings, and cover his or her mistakes if you have to. Be sure to ay attention to the seemingly unqualified boss, because they got the job for a reason, and if you pay attention you may discover what it is. I promise you there is something you can learn from it.

5. The Friend. This seems nice. Your boss is your friend. They want to have lunch with you, know about your family, be friends on Facebook, socialize on weekends and after work, etc. The problem here is that when things go bad they go really bad. Coworkers may resent you. Your boss's boss or colleagues may resent you. If he or she gets fired you may be painted with the same brush. So proceed with extreme caution if you have a boss who wants to be friends.

How to deal with the friend: They don’t know where the line is so you have to. Don’t overshare. Don’t accept every invitation to dinner or outings. Keep some personal distance.  It’s hard because it’s flattering when the boss wants to be your friend, but you must maintain a professional distance. Be friendly, but be careful that you don’t become besties. That rarely ends well.

You can't change a bad boss, but you can control how you interact with them. Good luck!

~~~

To watch my "Bad Bosses" segment on News Channel 8's "Let's Talk Live," please visit my TV/Media Page.

Follow me on Twitter! @MaryAbbajay

How to Negotiate Your Salary: Six Tips to Get What You want

Did you know that 80 percent of job recruiters are willing to negotiate on salary, but only 30 percent of applicants do so?

It’s true. People are afraid to negotiate, especially when they are in the early position of landing a job. They are afraid of seeming too aggressive or greedy or of angering their new management.

But if you’ve been offered the job or already have the job, you have to understand that they want you, they value you, and you are in the perfect position to negotiate your salary. Here’s how to do it.

1. Do your homework. Before you go into your negotiation, make sure you research your industry, your position, and your company. Is the firm established or a start up? Is it stable or on loose footing? Is it growing or shrinking?

Find out what other people are making in your profession and industry. Websites like Payscale.com and Glassceiling.com are great resources. Find the averages of salaries in your industry and for your level of experience.

2. Know your own value. How valuable are you? What do you bring to the table that is superior? How hard is it to fill your position? If there are 1,000 other people who can and will do your job and are waiting in the wings, you have less room to negotiate than if you are an outlier or a seasoned professional with a high-level set of skills.

Know your value, and use it.

3. Set your numbers. Once you’ve done the research into what the salary ranges are for your industry, your position, and maybe even within the company, prepare three sets of numbers:

First, know your absolute bottom line. This is the lowest salary you will accept. Second, set your medium salary, a number that would be nice and comfortable. Third, set your ideal salary, the biggest number you can think of that is within the range of your position and industry.

4. Be realistic. Don’t go crazy with your numbers and negotiating or you may appear unhinged. Stay within industry standards. Don’t ask for $75,000 if you are applying to work the perfume counter ay Macy’s. By the same token, if you are in a trending industry — which right now is high-tech, consulting, social media and marketing — know that those salaries and positions are increasingly in demand.

Negotiate, don't fight, argue, or get upset.

5. Don’t speak first. If you can avoid it, never be the first to raise the salary issue. You have the most power when you know they want you, so don’t raise the issue until they do.

The interviewer also knows that he or she shouldn’t go first, so chances are they will ask you what your salary requirements are. If that happens, bounce it right back to them by saying something like, “I have given this a lot of thought, and I will entertain any reasonable, competitive offer. What is the salary range you were thinking of?” Stay calm and polite, but be firm and try to get them to offer numbers first.

Also, if you are applying for a job and the application asks for your last salary, try to leave it blank, because whatever you put will be their starting point.

6. Finally, never take the first offer. It varies by industry, but I would say that across the board, you probably have about a 25 percent wiggle room. You might settle at around 10 or 15 percent, but always start high.

Good luck!

The Importance of Disconnecting

I was thrilled to be the inaugural guest on News Channel 8's new segment "Friday Focus on You" with NewsTalk host Bruce DePuyt. Here, we discuss the vital importance of taking a vacation and really disconnecting.

Click here to watch: http://bcove.me/lu88vjsi

What to Wear to Work in the Summer: Nine Tips for Dressing Well

When the heat and humidity strike (like right now), so does the temptation to dress down at the office. But whether it’s January or July, the rules are the same: You should always look professional, you should always look like you belong, and you should always be appropriately attired for your work environment.

Your attire says everything about you at all times. Does your look say, I’m going to a luau or I’m ready for business? Does it say, I belong at the beach or I belong in the corner office? No matter the weather you must always dress for success at work.

What does this look say?

Here’s how to dress appropriately in the heat of the summer:

1. Understand your corporate culture. What are the expectations for summer attire in your office? What does HR say? Look around at the senior staff members—how are they dressed? How does your boss or your boss’s boss dress? A suit and tie may be required year round. Ladies may have to wear stockings and sleeves. The point is to find out what is expected at your office and follow suit.

Sleeveless can still be polished and professional.

2. Lighten up. I mean this literally—go for lighter fabrics. Think linen, cotton, and silk, rather than tweeds and wools. Choose lighter colors, too. Check out sites like InStyle or Esquire for professional warm weather options.

3. Choose the right dress for success. For the ladies, sundresses are perfectly appropriate in the summertime as long as they are not flimsy, sexy, or see-through; they are cut conservatively; and they are paired with a light cardigan or jacket. Dresses should fall at or below the knee. As always, you should never show any cleavage.

There are lots of great choices!

4. No ugly toes. Open-toed shoes may or may not be appropriate at your work—again, see what senior staff wear or check with HR. If open toes are ok, be sure your feet are well groomed. Pedicures are a must, and you should always choose a conservative color. You will not be taken seriously if your toenail polish is neon orange.

No. Never.

5. Bra straps should remain hidden. If you are a professional woman your bra strap should never be exposed at the office. In fact, if you are having trouble finding a bra for a particular shirt or outfit for work, you are wearing the wrong thing.

Another no-no.

6. Find our what Casual Friday means. What does your boss wear? You don’t want to be a stick in the mud and wear a suit when everyone else is in khakis, but you should still observe a conservative, professional rule. If you are a man, you may be able to wear a short-sleeved shirt, but think polo rather than Hawaiian. And I say no shorts, ever.

This may be a little too casual...

7. Interview outfit rules remain the same. Even in warm weather the same rules apply for interview attire: Dress for the job you want, look like you already belong, and dress even more conservatively than you normally would. You want to make a good impression, and you want to do it by looking as polished and professional as possible, like you already belong.

No cleavage at the office. EVER.

8. Check your smell. We’re all a little sweatier and stickier in the summertime, so make an extra effort to check your hygiene. After that walk from the Metro, pop into the bathroom to freshen up. Maybe even keep a little dopp kit in your office with deodorant, powder, etc. Runny make-up and sweat stains are never a good look.

9. Finally, here is a list of things never to wear to the office in the summertime if you want to be taken seriously:

• Flip-flops
• Cropped tops
• Halter tops
• Camisoles or spaghetti straps (without a jacket or cardigan)
• Mini skirts
• Low-cut shirts or blouses
• See-through blouses
• Short-sleeved shirts with ties
• Hawaiian shirts
• Neon nail polish

Remember, Summer doesn’t mean professionalism should go out the window. Choose outfits that are seasonal but professional. Find out what your senior management team wears. You should always be appropriately attired for your work environment.

Good luck!

~~~

Want more tips? Visit my Media Page.