Resolutions That Work: 11 Tips for a Fresh Start in the New Year

As 2013 winds down and 2014 approaches, we hear the siren call of the New Year’s resolution: Exercise more, eat less, save money, lose weight, call your mother.

These resolutions make frequent appearances on everyone’s annual do-better list. But people often forget to make work-related resolutions, which is odd, considering how much time we spend at work and how important careers are in our lives. This is the perfect time to remember that New Year’s resolutions are not just for your personal life; you can and should set goals for your professional life, too.

New Year, new you -- at work too!

Here are 11 tips to help you get a fresh start professionally in the New Year (and by the way, these tips work for making and establishing personal goals, too):

1. Be as specific as possible. Vague, pie-in-the-sky goals don’t work and won’t help you stay motivated.  For example, “I want to be a more productive worker” is an admirable goal, but it may not provide the kick you need when the going gets tough. Think tangible and measurable, like, “I want to earn a 3 percent merit raise at my next performance review” or "I want to master PowerPoint and Excel" or "I want a promotion to vice president of marketing." Lofty goals don't work. Resolutions have to be specific to be achievable.

2. Establish a game plan. Once you've set a specific goal then you can develop a game plan for achieving it. For example, if you want a promotion, what do you need to do to get that job? Are there new skills you need to master? Another degree? Classes you should take? If your goal is to network more, what are the tangible ways you will do it? If you want to master a new skill, where and when will you take classes? Do your research and establish a game plan.

3. Put it on the schedule. Don’t assume wanting to establish a new work habit is enough. Schedule time to practice the habit. For example, if keeping your inbox empty is your resolution, then put a recurring 30-minute appointment on your calendar to process messages in your inbox.

Want it to work? Schedule it.

4. Pace yourself and start small. You’re likely to achieve more success if you incorporate one new work habit at a time. So if getting to the office by 7:30 a.m., never eating lunch alone, and clearing your inbox every day are your three 2014 work resolutions, choose one to master before you start with the second and then the third.

5. Measure your progress. Some of us are motivated by measurable progress. If that’s you, then make sure you quantify the impact of implementing your resolution. How many more business opportunities have you identified by making sure that you never eat lunch alone? How many more actions are you able to complete each day now that you get to the office early? How many more days a week do you leave work feeling satisfied now that you made sure your email inbox is empty each day? Knowing that your resolution is working will motivate you to stick with it. If it’s not working, then maybe you need to modify the resolution or ask for help.

6. Make it a game. Resolutions require effort, but that doesn’t mean it has to feel like work. Gameify your resolutions. Develop some simple rules about implementing your resolution and identify a feedback system—i.e., a way to keep score. For example, measure how long it takes you to process your inbox. Track total minutes, total items, and items per minute. Post your high scores on a Post-it next on your desk.

7. Every beginning starts with an ending. Remember that there was at least one really good reason why you weren’t practicing this new work habit before you made the resolution. Somehow, eating lunch alone most days was serving you. Maybe it was preserving your status as a free agent who was above office politics. Or maybe it was a way to conserve your pride by avoiding being rejected for a lunch date. Knowing the good reason why you weren’t practicing your desired work habit may help you avoid sabotaging yourself.

8. Expect setbacks and plan for them. It’s likely that you’ll mess up. You’ll oversleep and get to work 45 minutes later than you planned. Don’t let setbacks derail you. Expect them and plan for them. For example, give yourself two do-overs a month to cover any backsliding or mishaps. If you don’t use your do-overs in any particular month, then you can give yourself an appropriate reward.

9. Use an accountability system. Publically declaring your resolution and your progress implementing it can be a powerful motivator. Find an accountability buddy with whom you can share your success. Tweet your progress to your followers. Use social media to your advantage. Consider using an app like Lift to keep you on track. (https://lift.do)

10. Be your own cheerleader. Break out your pom-poms and self-talk your way to success. Leave a new motivational Post-it note by your computer when you leave the office on Fridays so that it encourages you when you get to your desk on Monday. Use your computer screensaver or calendar appointment reminder function to give yourself periodic boosts.

Remember, it takes time. Repetition is key.

11. Give yourself time. Remember, it takes time to form a new habit or learn something new. Some experts say it takes 21 days to form (or break) a habit, some say it takes 30. Whatever the case, make sure you give each new work habit enough time to truly become a part of your regular routine. And decide at the start how you’ll know when you’ve sufficiently mastered the new habit and can rest on your laurels or incorporate additional habits into your work life.

One last thing: have fun. Even though establishing a new work habit will require effort, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be enjoyable. In fact, if you’re not enjoying the habit or the outcomes it produces, that may be the sign that you’ve gotten off track or need to adjust your goal.

Feel free to share what other tips you’ve seen or used to incorporate new work habits. We’d love to hear them. Happy New Year everyone! And good luck!

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For more information on Careerstone, visit our website:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com

To watch or listen to Mary's other media appearances, visit our media page: http://www.careerstonegroup.com/media.html

Four Fears That Keep Women Down: How To Be More Assertive and Effective in the Workplace

Women can be their own worst enemies in the workplace. Very often, women are afraid to advocate for themselves, to speak up, negotiate, disagree, and promote themselves. Women often believe that the workplace is a meritocracy, and that their good work and good relationship skills will get them noticed and move them along.

Wrong. The workplace is many things, but a meritocracy is not always one of them. Sure, good work is usually rewarded, but good work in a vacuum is not. The people who get ahead are the people who speak up, negotiate, advocate, and promote themselves. And women tend to fear the very things that will help them get ahead.

Here’s how to combat the four big fears that keep women down:

1. Fear of assertive speech.

One of the biggest mistakes women make in the workplace is softening our speech. Speech has three components: the words we choose, our body language, and our tone of voice. And women fear being assertive in all three.

Women have a tendency to use what we call “weaker language.” For example, women tend to predicate what they say, as in: “I think this is a good idea,” or “I feel that is the right way to go,” or “We might want to consider this option.”

A more assertive speaker would say, “This is a good idea”; “This is the right way to go”; “This is what we need to do.” Assertive people do not predicate their language. Say what you mean, and don’t soften or qualify it.

That said, in some situations, using assertive language may not be the right way to go, and you may alienate people if you are too assertive. You need to be aware of your audience and judge the level and type of discourse. If it’s all assertive types, then be assertive. If you are dealing with less assertive people or the situation doesn’t warrant it, back off a little.

There are times when predicates are absolutely appropriate, and you should soften your language, but if you soften everything people won’t see you as a leader. And no matter the audience or circumstance, being assertive does not mean being rude, condescending, strident, or shrill. It means being confident, commanding, and authoritative. Tone is very important.

One last thing: body language is big part of speech. So stand tall, sit up straight, and sit at the table or up front where you can be seen. Don’t slump, hide, or sit in the background. Be as assertive with your body language as you are with your speech.

2. Fear of negotiating. 

Across the board, women still lag behind men in salaries. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, women still earn just 79 percent of what their male counterparts do. Women consultants and lawyers tend to charge less than their male counterparts. Studies show that a $5,000 discrepancy in your first job can lead to a whopping $200,000 difference over the lifetime of your career.

Sadly, many women have a fear of negotiating. We just don’t do it as well as our male counterparts. Women feel guilty asking for money, and so we take what they offer us.

This needs to stop. We must stop being shy and learn to ask for it. Come in knowing what you are worth, knowing what your value is to the company, knowing what you have done and are capable of doing, and ask for the money. No one will do it for you.

Here’s a good article on negotiating from Susan Adams at Forbes.com:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/02/15/how-to-negotiate-your-salary-2/

3. Fear of conflict.

Women are very good at forging relationships. This is incredibly valuable at work, where relationship building is a key component of success. But too often we are reluctant to disagree or have conflict with our colleagues and coworkers. We are afraid to alienate people so we don’t stand up for ourselves or speak up. We are afraid of being perceived as a bitch if we aren’t friendly and easy going with everyone.

Conflict doesn’t have to be upsetting and disagreeing doesn’t have to be alienating, as long as you use respectful language and leave emotions out of it. You can be assertive without alienating people if you do it right.

Workplace relationships need to be strong, but they are not the same as your personal friendships. You aren’t at work to make friends. You have to find right the balance between being a person who helps create a harmonious workplace and being someone who is assertive and strong. You aren’t there to love and nurture everyone; you are there to work, work well with people, and get the job done.

4. Fear of self-promotion.

Women believe that the workplace is a meritocracy. It is not. Good work is not all it takes. If you want to get ahead people have to know who you are, the work you have done, your value to the company, and what you are capable of doing. You have to do a little self-promotion. That’s what men do, and so should you.

Now self-promotion and shameless self-promotion are two different things. Do not mistake confidence for arrogance. There is a way to promote yourself and your accomplishments without being obnoxious. This is critical in meetings with your boss or manager; you have to be able to catalogue your accomplishments, ideas, and contributions.

If people don’t know about your successes and what you are capable of you will not get the opportunities. So start making a list of your accomplishments right now. Keep it updated and don’t be afraid to share it. Just don’t boast or brag.

Being assertive and strong are key to success. You have to learn to jettison your fears to get ahead. Good luck!

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Watch my segment on assertiveness on ABC 7’s Washington Business report:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com/z-media-2/wash-bus-report/wbr-career-pitfalls-120613.html

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For more information on Careerstone Group consulting, please visit my website.

Don't Get Drunk at the Office Party, and other Dos and Don'ts of the Holiday Season

Tis' the season for parties, Secret Santas, gift giving, and all manner of festivities. This goes for office life, too. But it’s also the season for professional pitfalls, business faux pas, and other mistakes caused by holiday exuberance, a misreading of the tea laves, or just plain not understanding the rules of engagement.

At this time of year, emotions and excitement run high, for better and worse. Everyone has to deal with gift-giving, religious sensibilities, festive parties, and other holiday issues, both at home and at work. The difference is that while misfiring at home vis-à-vis what you got Uncle John or how you behaved at the family party might make your mother mad, misfiring at work can have dire consequences for your career.

Here are some dos, don'ts, tips, and strategies to help you navigate the holidays at the office:

The Office Party

The office party is a social event, but it’s also an extension of the workplace and, really, the workday, so your behavior should be as professional and unimpeachable at the party as it is during the day at the office.

DOs:

•Do show up on time. Again, this is an extension of the office, so be on time.

•Do dress appropriately. Business dressy or casual, depending on the circumstances. No stilettos, no cleavage, no perfume. Unless it’s a beach- or luau-themed party, no Hawaiian shirts or flip flops.

The office party is NOT an opportunity to hit on a coworker.

•Do thank the host right away. Remember this might not be your boss, it might be the CEO or owner, and it's a great opportunity for face time. And be sure to thank those who planned and executed the party.

•Do mingle and introduce yourself to upper management and people in other divisions. Remember, this is a great networking opportunity.

•Do turn off your smartphone.

•Do keep your right hand free and dry so you can shake hands easily.

•Do bring your spouse or significant other if they are invited and you feel they will help you look good (crass but true). They will be seen as an extension of you, so be sure they are coached in dressing appropriately, conversing pleasantly, not drinking too much, not talking about how much you hate your job, etc.

DON’Ts:

•Don’t gossip. Network, yes. Gossip, no.

•Don’t get drunk. Get drunk at the office party and no one will ever forget it. There has never been an instance where getting drunk in front of a boss or coworkers has helped someone’s career. It’s best not to drink at all, but if you must drink, absolutely limit yourself to one or two drinks, tops. And be sure to drink water and eat some food so you don’t get tipsy.

Getting drunk at the office party will NOT help your career.

•Don’t corner your boss and discuss a bonus or your salary.

•Don’t look at the event as a singles party or a chance to flirt with that cute guy in production. Remember: Your boss, your supervisors, and your co-workers are watching.

•Don’t just camp out with your coworkers or team; meet new people and network.

•Don’t dance. Just don’t.

Dancing at the office party? Just don't. Seriously, don't.

•Don’t wear silly holiday attire. No Santa hats, elf suits, jingle bell earrings, etc.

•Don't bring your spouse or partner if they don't want to come or if you are afraid they won't enjoy playing the role of support staff. This is important: If they can't be counted on to make you look good don't bring them.

Office Gift Giving

Gift-giving is tricky. Here is some advice:

•Your company may have written rules about gift-giving, so check the employee manual or with HR or your supervisor.

•Your company, team, or office may have its own unwritten traditions, so ask around.

•If there is no tradition of gift giving, DO NOT start one.

•If there is a tradition of gift giving at your office, remember that, generally speaking, gifts flow downward. DO NOT buy your boss or superiors a gift.

•Do buy gifts for your assistant, your secretary, or your team members.

•Gifts should reflect your appreciation and esteem, not your embarrassing largess.

•Think small, classic, and business appropriate gifts, like good writing paper, nice pens, gift certificates to nearby coffee shops or restaurants, picture frames, nice chocolates, etc.

•Never give iPods or anything too expensive or flashy, and be careful about things like wine. Of course, if you know your assistant adores a good California Chardonnay, a nice bottle is the perfect gift, but otherwise steer clear of alcohol.

Holiday and Religious Displays at the Office

Office decorations are always an issue. It's best to avoid them altogether, but if you must display them (and are allowed to), here are some tips:

•First, check with your manager or HR on the company policy. Some companies ban them altogether. Find out what the protocol is, as well as the tradition.

•Be sensitive to the religious affiliations of others.

•Never comment disparagingly on someone's else's display, religious or otherwise.

•Keep the annoying dancing Santas at home. If you do decorate your desk or office, the decorations should be minimal, low-key, tasteful, and not distracting.

•Keep the holiday attire down, too. Unless you are a nurse in a pediatric unit or a preschool teacher, your reindeer earrings, fuzzy Santa sweater, and jingle bell brooch will not be greeted with glee. Save the corny Christmas attire for someplace other than your office

Holiday Shopping while Working

We are all crunched for time, but shopping while at work can present problems if you aren't careful:

•No, you cannot take a longer lunch to go shopping, though some companies may be more flexible this time of year. And don't ask. What do you think your boss would think if you asked for a longer lunch so you could go shopping?

•If you do shop on your lunch hour, be sure to return on time, and DO NOT come back to the office laden with shopping bags. It looks bad.

•Don't get caught cybershopping when you should be working. Save it for your lunch hour.

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You can survive and even thrive during the holidays at your office if you understand expectations, your office traditions, and follow a few simple rules. Happy holidays everyone! And good luck!

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FIVE TAKEAWAYS:

• Save the Santa sweaters for home.
• Do not buy your boss a gift.
• Do not get drunk at the office party.
• Don't dance at the holiday party.
• Only bring your spouse if they will help you look good.

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Check out Mary's radio and TV appearances:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com/media.html

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