Emotional Intelligence and Leadership: The Four Things You Need to Know to Lead Effectively.

There are lots of factors for successful leadership in the workplace, but there is one factor that can separate a good leader from a great one, and that’s emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to use your emotions in a positive and constructive way in relationships with others. It’s about reading and understanding the emotions of others and engaging them in a way that brings people toward you, not away from you. It’s about being “choiceful” in how you interact and engage with them.

EQ at work

The workplace is a social network. It’s a hotbed of emotions, egos, stress, and conflict. You can’t pick and choose who you want to get along with, and you may not have much input into who you work with. You have to develop a skill set in which you can get along with everyone.

Playing well with others is a key to success. Managing conflict and getting along with different personalities is imperative. That’s where emotional intelligence comes in.

Those leaders who can manage relationships are the ones who are most successful. According to the Center for Creative Leadership, the biggest reason that managers fail is because of poor interpersonal skills. Another survey showed that EQ accounts for an 85 percent difference between a good leader and an excellent leader.

The difference between good and great? A high EQ.

Emotionally intelligent leaders can motivate and inspire their staffs and navigate the workplace with greater ease. If you want to be a great leader you need to develop your EQ.

Developing your EQ

Some people are born with high EQs. They are just naturally receptive and responsive to other people, are able to engage with them in a genuine fashion, and are able to control their own emotions.

But fear not. Emotional intelligence can be learned. First, take a test to see where you stand, and what you need to work on. Here are a few sites to try:

http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201311/test-your-practical-emotional-intelligence

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037 (Be warned: this one has 146 questions!)

The four components of EQ

So, how did you do? Chances are, if you had any shortcomings they were in one of four areas that make up a person’s emotional intelligence. These are the four basic competencies involved in EQ, and these are the things you need to develop:

1. Self-awareness: You need to know what is going on inside you. You need to know if you are being hijacked by your emotions. You need to know what your triggers are. Since EQ is about being choiceful, you have to understand what’s going on inside you so you can choose wisely.

2. Self-management: Knowing is one thing, but managing it is the key. You may know you are rash or impulsive, but if you can’t manage your emotions or your behavior you won’t have high EQ.

3. Awareness of others (social awareness): This is the awareness of other people’s feelings, needs, and concerns. The workplace is a social system, and you have to be aware of others, what is happening with them, looking for cues, and being aware of their emotions, their needs, and their wants.

4. Relationship management: This is about building positive working relationships with your colleagues and your pers. Are you drawing them toward you or are you pushing them away? Emotions are contagious; what do yours do?

The four competencies of EQ.

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Emotionally intelligent leaders are successful leaders. They get along well with others, they listen and engage, they inspire and motivate, and they develop good relationships with people, no matter the personality. Sound like a tall order? Not really. You can develop your EQ with a little practice. Good luck!

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CLICK HERE to view Mary’s segment on EQ and leadership on

ABC’s “Washington Business Report.”

For more information on Careerstone Group, please visit our website:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com

Emotional Intelligence -- What It Is, How to Get It, and How to Use It

Many things factor into a person's success: intellect, skill, resourcefulness, knowledge, drive, etc. But there is one factor that most successful people share—a high EQ.

EQ is emotional intelligence, the ability to use your emotions in a positive and constructive way in relationships with others. It’s about reading and understanding the emotions of others and engaging people in a way that brings them towards you, not away from you. It’s about being “choiceful” in how you interact and engage with them.

Many studies show that EQ is a much more accurate determinant for success and career growth than technical skills or a high IQ. According to the Center for Creative Leadership, the biggest reason that managers fail is because of poor interpersonal skills. Another survey showed that EQ accounts for an 85 percent difference between a good leader and an excellent leader.

This says it all...

Simply put, whatever your position—leader, manager, co-worker, self-employed, intern, assistant—people with great interpersonal skills (those who are more attuned to the emotions of others) are more successful. The higher your EQ the more successful you will be.

EQ at Work

The workplace is a social network. It’s a hotbed of emotions, egos, stress, and conflict. Emotional intelligence can help you:

• Develop robust relationships
• Solve problems using both logic and feelings
• Maintain an optimistic and positive outlook
• Cultivate flexibility in stressful situations
• Help others express their needs
• Respond to difficult people and situations calmly and thoughtfully, and
• Respond to change with grace and calm

EQ is important for managing change, understanding the political landscape for a new project, dealing well with setbacks or workplace obstacles, motivating and influencing others, and working with or for a team with different personalities.

Emotional Intelligence really comes into play when managing and dealing with difficult people, including customers, employees, colleagues, and bosses. Your ability to understand and empathize goes a long way.

EQ is critical for success in the workplace.

EQ is critical for any person, in any position, who deals with other people. Even if you are self-employed you still have to engage with others (in fact, when you’re self-employed that may be even more important).

Developing your EQ

Some people are born with natural EQ skills. In certain fields, EQ often goes hand in hand with success, like sales. Many companies actually use EQ competency testing as criteria for selection into highly engaging positions like sales. A recent survey showed that companies that selected their sales people by using EQ competency criteria decreased their first year turnover rate by a whopping 63 percent.

But EQ can also be taught, and many companies hire consultants (like me!) to host workshops to train employees on emotional intelligence. Ask HR if they have an EQ workshop or training. If not, you can develop it on your own.

The Four Factors of EQ

Emotional intelligence may come easily for some, harder for others. It’s about paying attention to other people, engaging them, and developing solid interpersonal skills. There are four basic competencies involved in EQ. These are the things you need to develop:

1. Self-Awareness: This is recognizing how emotions affect your performance, and it requires a candid self-assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. Self-aware individuals are reflective and learn from experience. They are open to candid feedback, new perspectives, and self-development.

2. Self-Management: This is basically self-control, the ability to manage or control your own emotions, internal states, impulses, and reactions. It means being choiceful in your interactions with and reactions to others. People with the ability to self-manage are perceived as trustworthy, conscientious, adaptable, Innovative, and optimistic.

You can master EQ on your own.

3. Awareness of Others (Social Awareness): This is the awareness of other people’s feelings, needs, and concerns. It means having empathy, seeking to understand others, and being able to read and tune in to the emotional state of others. Social awareness skills include understanding others, developing others, service orientation, leveraging diversity, and having political awareness.

4. Relationship Management: This competency is about successfully engaging with others. It includes the ability to communicate, relate, and listen well to others and to induce desirable responses in them. People with this ability understand that emotions are contagious. They can adapt their communication styles to people and situations.

Take One of These EQ Tests

EQ is pretty basic, really. It's all about developing your interpersonal skill set, which requires an understanding of your own emotions as well as the emotions of others. The place to start  is deterring your own level of emotional intelligence. There are lots of great books out there, like “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” by Daniel Goleman. There a re lots of resources on the web, like this article: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/05/are-you-emotionally-intel_n_4371920.html

Or just jump right into it by taking an EQ test, like these easy ones from the web:

http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201311/test-your-practical-emotional-intelligence

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037 (Be warned: this one has 146 questions!)

Once you know where you stand EQ-wise, you’ll know what to work on. EQ is a new key to success, and it's something you can develop, like any skill. 

Good luck!

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For more information on Careerstone Group, please visit our website:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com

To watch or listen to Mary's media appearances, please visit our media page:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com/media.html