Get real and get ahead: Five steps to professional authenticity

Believe it or not, authenticity is one of the cornerstones of success. Being authentic means being honest and genuine, which in turn engenders trust and accountability. People respond to people who feel “real” to them. Nobody likes a phony, and people get nervous and mistrustful when they can’t “read” a person. If people read you as authentic, they will trust you, value you, and look to you for leadership and guidance.

Authenticity is about how you conduct yourself, how you treat others, and the way you work and fit in to your corporate culture. It’s not about being nicey-nice or insincere; it’s about being real. Authenticity entails an emotional equation of:

Confidence + Self-awareness + Transparency + Consistency = Authenticity

In other words, authenticity is about establishing and showing an honest and consistent alignment between your personality, your words, and your actions. Much like other personal and professional skills, authenticity can be developed. Here are five ways to develop your authenticity:

1. Be honest. This does not mean you can be rude or disrespectful. You can be honest and still be respectful, diplomatic, and professional. The key is to express yourself well and use kind, constructive, and inclusive language. Here is where verbal skills like using “and” instead of “but” come into play; anytime you use “but” you risk alienating and making people feel defensive. Try to use inclusive, constructive words instead of negative ones. This isn’t being false; it’s framing the discussion in a forward-thinking way.

2. Engage other people. In order to be authentic, you have to care about more than just yourself, so it is important to engage other people. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. Ask questions. Practice reflective listening. Really listen to what they tell you. Resist the temptation to talk about yourself.

3. Treat everyone with respect. Treating other people well is the surest sign of someone who is confident, collected, and genuine. Be gracious, polite, and respectful to everyone, from the janitor to the vice president, from the secretaries to the barristas, from your co-workers to the garage attendants.

4. Test yourself. Becoming more aware of your self, how you operate in the world, how you behave, and how you impact people is the key to using your authentic self in business. A good way to learn about yourself is to take a personality test like the Meyers-Briggs. That test and others like it are an excellent tool for self-awareness, as long as you get the proper training around the assessment. Make sure a professional is able to go over the results with you so you can understand and use the information properly.

5. Look at others. Studying traits of successful but authentic business people is also a good way to understand what being real looks like. For example, here are three very different authentic leaders: Richard Branson, Warren Buffett, and Donald Trump. They each approach life and work very differently, yet you can tell that they are all passionate about what they do. They are consistent in their words, deeds, and ambitions. They are not apologetic about who they are and they integrate their personal qualities into their work life, personal life, and leadership.

Being authentic means you are honest and real. It means you are trusted and counted on. And it can mean all the difference in your success at work and in business.

The dos and don'ts of helping your child land a job

Here are the commandments -- both dos and don'ts -- to helping your kid land a job.

How to help your kid land a job

Helping your child land his or her first interview or job is very important. But there are clear boundaries to the things you should and should not do to help. Employers are looking for motivated, responsible, mature, self-starters. If they see a parent’s hand in the young person's employment efforts, it will hurt more than help.

Here are the things you should not do for your child:

•Do not attend job fairs with or for them.

•Do not fill out job applications for them.

•Do not write their resume.

•Do not write their cover letter.

•Do not accompany your child to job interviews.

•Do not contact the employer for any reason.

Now, you can and should help and guide your child with all of these, but helping and guiding do not mean doing. Just like with homework, your child MUST do these things for himself. He must learn and embrace these skills.

Here are the things you can and should do for your child:

•Proofread resumes and cover letters.

•Offer support and encouragement, and nag if you have to.

•Drive your child if necessary—just don't walk in with them.

•Offer financial support, if necessary and within reason.

•Practice interviewing with them. Do a Google search on common interview questions and practice them with your child.

•Teach them professional etiquette—how to shake hands firmly, how to look people in the eye, sit up straight, listen properly, etc.

•Help them dress for success.

•Help them network. Introduce them to your friends and business associates, and then encourage them to follow up on their own.

•Make sure they say thank you. Nag them if you have to, but make sure they send a thank you note to whomever interviewed them and/or whomever helped secure them the interview.

•Encourage them to think broadly and realistically. It's a tough market out there. They need to know that sometimes it is better to take the job or internship offered rather than wait unrealistically for that internship at the New York Times. 

The key to helping your child is just that—helping them. You can and should teach and guide them along the way (and nag if you have to), but they need to learn, embrace, and master these critical employment skills themselves.

Acing the interview: 12 tips to sell yourself and land the job

•Acing an interview is a critical skill that every working person should master. You can have a great education, a great resume, great experience, and great recommendations, but if you can't ace the interview, forget about it.

Employers are looking for certain skills, yes, but employers want to know what kind of person you are, what kind of employee you are going to be, and if you will fit into their organization. Employers rate the following list of skills and traits as the most important:

•Communication and interpersonal skills

•Honesty and integrity

•Teamwork skills

•Reliable, responsible, and mature

•Strong work ethic

•Motivated and flexible

•Analytical skills

•Computer skills

•Organizational skills

See where technical skills fall? Near the bottom. Employers are willing to train for those, provided you can prove yourself worthy of their investment. And to do that, you have to impress. So get ready to sell yourself. Whether you are a recent graduate embarking on your professional career or a seasoned pro looking for a new one, the rules are the same:

Before the interview:

1. Research the organization. You need to know the company’s core business, products, services, and markets. What are their key business challenges? What is their culture like? What kind of people do they hire? Familiarize yourself with their history, their structure, management, recent trends, growth areas, stock price, etc.

2. Research the job. Contact the HR department and see if they have a written description or can tell you about it. What are the general duties and responsibilities? What is the reporting structure? Find out as much as you can beforehand so your questions during the interview will be smarter and more targeted.

3. Research the industry. If you are interviewing at Coca-Cola, do some research on the beverage industry. What are the trends? What are the challenges? What are their competitors doing? Being able to intelligently discuss trends and challenges will really set you apart and make you stand out. Remember: you are more than a candidate for a job; you are a potential problem solver and contributor, so the more knowledgeable you are about the company and the industry, the more you’ll impress the interviewer.

4. Research the interviewer. A key element of succeeding in a job interview is building rapport with the interviewer. When you schedule an interview, it is perfectly acceptable to ask who will be conducting the interview. Find out, then find out all you can about that person. Perhaps you have something in common, like an alma mater, a hometown, a hobby, or perhaps he or she did something impressive that you can point to and compliment. You don’t want to appear overly solicitous, but an earnest and informed comment can go a long way to establishing rapport with the person who may hire you.

5. Practice your responses. Thee are basic questions every interviewer will ask. Know them, and practice your responses. No more than 1 minute to two minutes. Here is what the interviewer wants to know:

•Do you have what it takes to succeed in the job?

•Will you fit in the organization?

•Do you understand the company and its purpose/goals/challenges?

•How do you compare to your competition?

•Why do you want the job?

•Tell me about yourself.

•What are your strengths and weaknesses?

•Why should I hire you?

•Where do you see yourself in five years? 

6. Dress for success. Dressing for the interview is not about standing out—it’s about looking like you belong. Match your dress and image to the profession or business in which you want to succeed. Your image has to inspire trust and confidence. When you make an effort to look the part, you broadcast to the world that you take yourself and the job seriously.

And ladies, remember the cardinal rules of dressing for success:

•Nothing too short.

•Nothing too long.

•Nothing too tight.

•Nothing sleeveless.

•No cleavage.

•Keep makeup and jewelry to a minimum.

•No heavy perfumes or colognes.

At the interview...

7.  Be on time. Being late for an interview is the worst impression you can make. Do reconnaissance if you have to. Practice your route and where you will park. Being late is a pretty big hurdle to overcome, so do everything you can to ensure you arrive on time.

8. Be nice to everyone. And I mean everyone, from the doorman to the receptionists. Smile and say hello to everyone. Many organizations incorporate the impressions of other employees in evaluating a candidate. You want your impression, however brief, to be a positive one.

9. Use appropriate body language. Seventy percent of communication is non-verbal. People form a first impression in three seconds. That means your body language and your initial appearance speak louder than your words, so make sure your body language says I am confident and I’ve got what it takes to work here and do this job. Here are some simple dos and don’ts:

Do:

•Have straight posture, both standing and sitting.

•Smile.

•Make eye contact.

•Have a firm handshake.

Don't:

•Slouch or slump.

•Fidget.

•Cross your arms.

•Yawn.

•Chew gum.

•Tap your foot or play with your hair.

•Stuff hands in pockets.

10. Ask where they are in their hiring process. What is their time frame? When do they expect to make a decision? Ask them when and how you should follow-up. Should you call in two weeks? Is an e-mail appropriate? Don’t be afraid to ask. It is a completely legitimate and appropriate question. They will actually appreciate you taking responsibility by asking.

After the interview...

11. Don’t talk. Don’t talk about your interview or the company anywhere near the interview site or the business itself. Wait until you get in your car or get home. You never know who is walking behind you or in the elevator with you or at the lobby coffee shop.

12. Follow up immediately. There is one very simple thing you can do to set yourself apart: send a hand-written thank-you note immediately after the interview. I know, the interviewer said to send an e-mail, but send a hand-written letter, too. Send it to the person with whom you interviewed. Use good quality paper or card stock (no cartoon characters, no notebook paper) and keep it short:

Dear Ms. Jones,

Thank you so much for seeing me last week. I enjoyed our interview and am very excited about the opportunity. I want very much to work for the XYZ Corporation. Thank you again and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Sincerely,

Jane Smith

The rest of the follow-up process should be dictated by what they told you in the interview—phone call, e-mail, etc.

Armed with these tips, and with practice and preparation, you can ace the interview. Good luck!

Six networking mistakes to avoid

Networking is more important than ever. Here are the six most common mistakes people make, and how to avoid them.

New Year's resolutions that work

Resolutions are easy to make, but hard to keep. That’s because people make unrealistic resolutions with no game plan of how to achieve them. Well, I am going to tell you how you can make and keep realistic resolutions.


First, let’s jettison the use of the word resolutions and use goals instead.

Second, if you made a resolution today, or tomorrow or on New Year’s Day, throw it away. You did it too early. Over the holidays we are all off our game. We haven’t been at work, we’ve been home or traveling, we’ve overindulged or overspent or over imbibed. We’re sick of our families or sick of ourselves or can’t button our pants. Setting a goal amidst this highly charged atmosphere is not a good idea.

Once you chose your word or theme, think about what you need to do or change to live that life. Set measurable, realistic actions to get there. Then write them down.

Instead take a few weeks to get back into the swing of things, so you can take a more accurate stock of where you are and where you want to be. Then, ask yourself:

•What do I want more of in my life?
•What do I want less of?
•What do I want to improve?
•What do I want to change?
•Where do I want to be professionally?

Now you can set the right goals. For one’s personal life, instead of setting a goal, I recommend choosing a word or theme for the year.

Think about how you want to live your life and think of a word that captures that. For example, if you want to lose weight and shape up, your word may be Slim or Healthy. If you want to make do with less or be less cluttered, your word may be Simplify. If you want more money, your word may be Wealth. Think of a positive word that conjures the vision of how you want to live, and then develop a game plan to achieve that.

Last year, my word was Quality. I wanted a better quality of life, both personally and professionally. So I started say no to things and only focused on the highest quality interactions, the things that really mattered to me. And it was a great year. That one word infused all of my personal and professional dealings and interactions, from the clothes I bought to the trips I took to the clients and projects I took on.

The key is to think about what you really want in the coming year and then choose a word that captures it. For example, if your word of the year is Wealth, your goal is to have more money, so your action items may be to get a raise (and all that that entails), clip coupons, car pool, walk to work, pack your lunch, find a new financial adviser, etc. If your word of the year is Slim and your goal is to lose weight, your action items will include choosing apples over chips, taking the stairs, getting more exercise, using smaller plates, walking to work, etc.


But remember: every action must be doable. You can’t plan to work out an hour a day if that is impossible, so chose action items that are realistic. And all of the choices you make every day must work toward that goal, not away from it.

Now, for your work life, think about what you want to achieve professionally. If you are an assistant manager and want to be a manager, figure out the steps you need to take to get there. A good way to do this is find someone who has the position or career you want and find out how they got there. What do people in that position have that you don’t? What was their career course? Your action plan may include working longer hours, doing more networking, taking professional development classes, etc.

Here are a few final points to make about goals:

•Write your goals or word of the year down, and put it where you can see it. You need to remind yourself what you are working toward.
•Reevaluate your goals and your action plans. If you aren’t seeing results, perhaps you may need to tweak the game plan a bit. Don’t despair; just figure out why it isn’t working and how to make it work.
•Slow and steady wins the race, every time. Remember, you have to develop new habits to reach your goal. It is the little, daily steps that will add up to results. Ask yourself: Are my actions, however small, moving me closer to my goal or away from it?


Think broadly and realistically about your life—where you are and where you want to be both personally and professionally. Make sure the goals you set for yourself are realistic, attainable, measurable, and mesh with what you really want out of life.

How to beat holiday stress: Five tips

1. Get organized. Think about the things you really need and want to do. Prioritize, make lists and make a schedule. What gets done gets done, but if you’re organized and have prioritized, then you are much more likely to get the really important things done.

2. Simplify and streamline. Adjust your expectations and try to focus on the things that are really important and jettison the rest. Think quality over quantity. Maybe get the same gift for everyone, or cut the list back a bit. Do you really need to do everything you think you do? Try to do with less.

3. Delegate. You don’t have to do everything. Get your spouse or family members to share the workload, and then make peace with the results.

4. Take time to look around. Literally. Stop what you are doing and look at the decorations and the pretty lights. Listen to holiday music. Window shop. Go to church or temple. Do something holiday-ish, like take the kids for a drive around town to see the lights. Take the time to enjoy the beauty of the season.

5. Keep it simple at work, and remember the rules. Like, don’t buy your boss a gift unless you pull her name in the Secret Santa exchange and don’t get drunk at the office party. Speaking of the office party, remember that even though it is a social event, it is still work, so be on your best behavior. It’s a great opportunity to socialize, network and develop relationships.