Emotional Intelligence and Leadership: The Four Things You Need to Know to Lead Effectively.

There are lots of factors for successful leadership in the workplace, but there is one factor that can separate a good leader from a great one, and that’s emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability to use your emotions in a positive and constructive way in relationships with others. It’s about reading and understanding the emotions of others and engaging them in a way that brings people toward you, not away from you. It’s about being “choiceful” in how you interact and engage with them.

EQ at work

The workplace is a social network. It’s a hotbed of emotions, egos, stress, and conflict. You can’t pick and choose who you want to get along with, and you may not have much input into who you work with. You have to develop a skill set in which you can get along with everyone.

Playing well with others is a key to success. Managing conflict and getting along with different personalities is imperative. That’s where emotional intelligence comes in.

Those leaders who can manage relationships are the ones who are most successful. According to the Center for Creative Leadership, the biggest reason that managers fail is because of poor interpersonal skills. Another survey showed that EQ accounts for an 85 percent difference between a good leader and an excellent leader.

The difference between good and great? A high EQ.

Emotionally intelligent leaders can motivate and inspire their staffs and navigate the workplace with greater ease. If you want to be a great leader you need to develop your EQ.

Developing your EQ

Some people are born with high EQs. They are just naturally receptive and responsive to other people, are able to engage with them in a genuine fashion, and are able to control their own emotions.

But fear not. Emotional intelligence can be learned. First, take a test to see where you stand, and what you need to work on. Here are a few sites to try:

http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl_eq_quiz.htm?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201311/test-your-practical-emotional-intelligence

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037 (Be warned: this one has 146 questions!)

The four components of EQ

So, how did you do? Chances are, if you had any shortcomings they were in one of four areas that make up a person’s emotional intelligence. These are the four basic competencies involved in EQ, and these are the things you need to develop:

1. Self-awareness: You need to know what is going on inside you. You need to know if you are being hijacked by your emotions. You need to know what your triggers are. Since EQ is about being choiceful, you have to understand what’s going on inside you so you can choose wisely.

2. Self-management: Knowing is one thing, but managing it is the key. You may know you are rash or impulsive, but if you can’t manage your emotions or your behavior you won’t have high EQ.

3. Awareness of others (social awareness): This is the awareness of other people’s feelings, needs, and concerns. The workplace is a social system, and you have to be aware of others, what is happening with them, looking for cues, and being aware of their emotions, their needs, and their wants.

4. Relationship management: This is about building positive working relationships with your colleagues and your pers. Are you drawing them toward you or are you pushing them away? Emotions are contagious; what do yours do?

The four competencies of EQ.

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Emotionally intelligent leaders are successful leaders. They get along well with others, they listen and engage, they inspire and motivate, and they develop good relationships with people, no matter the personality. Sound like a tall order? Not really. You can develop your EQ with a little practice. Good luck!

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CLICK HERE to view Mary’s segment on EQ and leadership on

ABC’s “Washington Business Report.”

For more information on Careerstone Group, please visit our website:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com

Extroverted Leaders: 7 Tips for Success

Last week I wrote about introverted leaders and offered seven tips for success. This week it’s all about extroverts and the things they can do to hone their leadership skills.

Introversion or extroversion is not about how shy or social you are; it's about how you derive your energy.

An introvert’s source of energy comes from within, from their inner world of thoughts, ideas, and reflections. Introverts direct energy and attention inward and receive energy from reflecting on thoughts, memories, and feelings.

Extroverts, on the other hand, get their essential stimulation from the outer world, the world of people and things. They direct their energy and attention outward and receive energy from interacting with people and from taking action.

Extroverts derive their energy from the outer world.

Introversion and extroversion are not so much personality traits as preferences for interacting with the world in a way that feels the most comfortable to them. Everybody has both qualities in their personality, the inward and the outward energy, but we do tend to lean consistently one way or the other.

Leaders come in both styles. Neither is right or wrong. Both have advantages and both have challenges.

Are You An Extrovert?

To find out what you are, the Meyers BriggsType Indicator (MBTI) is the gold standard. There are also lots of free resources out there. Sites like HumanMetrics offer free quizzes.

But the simplest way to find out if you are an introvert or an extrovert is to answer these questions:

•Generally speaking, are you energized by interactions or enervated by them?

•Generally speaking, where do you focus your attention and energy—outward or inward?

If you are energized by outward interactions you are an extrovert. If you tend to focus your attention and energy outward you are an extrovert. Again, these are general feelings, and everyone has both qualities, but we do tend to lean more one way or the other, and this has an impact on our leadership style.

Extroverts are energized by interacting with other people.

Extroverts in the Workplace

It’s all about where you prefer to focus your attention and get your energy. In general, 

Extroverts:

• Are attuned to their external environment
• Prefer to communicate by talking
• Prefer action over reflection; they can act and respond quickly
• Work out ideas by talking them through; they speak to think
• Learn best through doing or discussing
• Share thoughts freely
• Are sociable and expressive
• Extend themselves into their environment
• Enjoy working in groups

Extroverts are very good at remaining aware of the external environment, maintaining their networks, and taking quick action.

Challenges for Extroverted Leaders

The introversion/extroversion personality preference is important in leadership because it directly pertains to how people relate to other people, especially in terms of communication and engaging with others.

Three of the most important leadership skills are the ability to inspire, motivate, and enable others to act. To do this requires a communication and personal engagement style that promotes a sense of trust and confidence with one’s employees and co-workers.

Extroverts welcome interaction with other people.

When most people think of a leader they probably think of an extrovert. But extroverts may overwhelm and intimidate people, make them feel they aren’t being heard, push ideas prematurely, and unintentionally reveal confidences. They like to think out loud, which can lead to problems. Extroverts have to be careful.

Seven Tips for Extroverted Leaders

Here are some seven tips to help extroverts be better leaders:

1. Ask yourself, why am I talking right now?

2. Try to listen more and reflect back what you just heard.

3. Provide space for other people to contribute.

4. Ask more questions and really listen. Resist the urge to immediately start providing your opinion.

5. Tell introverts ahead of time what you’d like to discuss.

6. Be careful what you say. What you say carries a lot of weight. Too much talking out loud may make you appear indecisive. If you are going to “extrovert” or brainstorm ideas, make sure people know that is what you are doing.

7. Be careful of oversharing. Not everything needs to be discussed out loud.

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The best leaders are those who can inspire, motivate, and enable others to act. You can lead effectively whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. You just need to be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of your style, and work on the things that may challenge you. Good luck!

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To learn more about Careerstone Groups’ programs, please visit:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com

To listen to Mary’s radio shows or watch her TV appearances, please visit: http://www.careerstonegroup.com/media.html

Introverted Leaders: 7 Tips for Success

Are you an innie or an outie? I’m not talking bellybuttons; I’m talking about your leadership style. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Leadership, like personalities, comes in different shapes and sizes. Introversion or extroversion is not about how shy or social you are; it is about how you derive your energy.

An introvert’s essential stimulation, their source of energy, comes from within, from their inner world of thoughts, ideas, and reflections. They direct energy and attention inward and receive energy from reflecting on thoughts, memories, and feelings.

Extroverts get their essential stimulation from the outer world, the world of people and things. They direct their energy and attention outward and receive energy from interacting with people and from taking action.

This week, I’m going to talk about the introverted leader. I’ll cover extroverts next week.

What are you?

Introversion or extroversion is not so much a personality trait as it is a preference for interacting with the world in a way that feels the most comfortable to you. Everybody has both qualities in their personality, the inward and the outward energy, but we do tend to lean consistently one way or the other.

To find out what you are, the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator is the gold standard. You can simply Google Meyers Briggs and you'll be directed to lots of sources and short tests you can take to learn more about your personality preference.

But a super easy place to start is to simply assess the way you feel about interactions based on the energy explanations above. Ask yourself:

Are you energized by interactions or enervated by them?

Generally speaking, if you are energized by interactions you are an extrovert. If they enervate you, you are an introvert.

Introverts and extroverts in the workplace

It’s all about where you prefer to focus your attention and get your energy. In general, introverts:

• Are drawn to inner world
• Prefer written communication
• Prefer reflection over action—may need time to “process” before taking action
• Work out ideas by reflecting and thinking, not speaking (as extroverts do)
• Learn best by reflection
• Guard thoughts until they are (almost) perfect
• Are private and contained
• Defend against external demands
• Enjoy working alone or with only a few people 

Introverts are really good at paying attention to the infrastructure, conceptualizing problems, and looking deeply into issues.

The leadership difference

The introversion/extroversion personality preference is important to leadership because it directly pertains to how people relate to other people, especially in terms of communication and engaging with others.

Because introverts are more naturally inclined to focus their energies within they sometimes forget the importance of connecting and communicating with others consistently and openly. In a sense, the introverted leader often has to work a little harder on the “people” side of leadership. When people think of leaders, they usually think of extroverts.

Challenges for introverted leaders

Introverts possess many skills that are associated with great leadership. Introverts are associated with deep reflection and a desire to think through decisions. Introverts are naturally disinclined to be in the middle of the fray, so they can provide an outside perspective on what is happening. They are very good at analyzing and assessing. Because they are listening more than talking, introverts can also gain deeper understandings of situations.

By the same token, introverts tend toward isolation; projections of aloofness, snobbery, or disinterest; lack of communication; and lack of engagement.

Here are some specific strategies introverted leaders can utilize to become better leaders:

1. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Learn to think out aloud. Include others in brainstorming.

2. Use listening skills to create trust and build rapport. One of the greatest projections people make about introverts is that they are great listeners. Use this to your advantage.

3. Reflect back what you’ve heard. People want to know that they have been heard.

4. Involve others and articulate your thinking. Share information freely. Introverts have a habit of delivering full-blown solutions or edicts without articulating the thought process or motivation behind them, so learn to articulate your thinking and involve others.

5. Be accessible. Engage others substantially. Network!

6. Followers need to see you. They need to trust and understand you. They need to think you have their best interests at heart. So get out there.

7. Take care of your solitude. Carve out specific times of solitude for recharging yourself.

The best leaders

The best leader is not an introvert or an extrovert. The best leader is someone who can inspire, motivate, and enable others to act. Introverts can be great leaders, as long as they use their natural abilities wisely and use strategies to overcome the challenges inherent in their personality preference. Good luck!

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To learn more about Careerstone Groups’ programs, please visit:

http://www.careerstonegroup.com

To listen to Mary’s radio shows or watch her TV appearances, please visit: http://www.careerstonegroup.com/media.html